//TW
Mention of Suicide attempts
----------------------
A few drinks in and around an hour later Ukai was done talking to you and your short respondings and he stayed quiet, it was just the both of you sipping drinks. Until you decided to spill the tea
"Do you ever felt like someone who isn't good enough to exist?" he looked at you and raises an eyebrow "Every day I wake up questioning my existence. 'Am I worth enough to stay alive?', 'nobody is going to miss you when you die.", "Everyone around you is judging you and wish for you to disappear' stuff like this is breaking me into pieces and it hurts me with every step I take everyday on this planet" Ukai hold in a breath as you talked about your most vulnerable side "even when I waited for you I thought you are just playing with my feelings and just let me stay in the rain... If that would have been the case I would have probabaly cut my arms open, screaming at myself for being so stupid to believe someone who is just faking to be nice.. " you looked up at him seeing his face calm with a glimpse of sadness as he took your hands into his " I wanted to make sure that I got enough money to pay for today and lost track of time. Y/n I asked you to come here and I would never thought about to leave you standing outside the rain the whole night" he turned your hand around slowly looked at the white marks on your skin, he studied them like every scar was telling a different story, Telling him what Damage was made when someone had hurt you, every scar was the disappointment you were feeling in your Life.
He started to understand your fragile mind of being used for other people's purposes he understood your fear of being left behind if you're not good enough. He wanted to understand you as a person and now that he got to the point where you open up to him he wanted to show you that now everyone is like this. He want to show you that your purpose in the world is not being used but to be living for your own sake. " U-Ukai..." your voice made him look up and it broke his heart when he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks, you didn't looked uncomfortable with him seeing those scars but you looked lost like his action are not leading you anyway where. He stood up letting go of your hand and came to your side of the table and sits down next to you. Rubbing your bavk softly as you sobbed away the unknowning darkness that was stucked in your head again.
A few minutes had past since your sobbing started and you started to calm down, you took a sip of your water and looked into the glass "Sorry That I end up crying again. I shouldn't bother you with all this nonsense" he shook his head and smiled at you softly "I'm glad you got the strength to talk to me about this. I can imagine how hard it must be to open up to someone you barely know" you nodded in agreement, and with that Silince was taking over again but Ukai never left your side and kept his hand on your back making small circles to keep you calm. And you really appreciate it.
YOU ARE READING
between Pastries and Volleyball (Ukai Keishin x reader)
FanfictionYou had dreams. Dreams of your own Bakery in Japan. You had imagined everything in a Location in Tokyo where your small little Bakery become famous. But life had other things to do with you. And it became even worse when you met that grumpy store c...
