𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧' 𝐆𝐮𝐲 ➺ 𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝑀𝒶𝓎 & 𝒬𝓊𝑒𝑒𝓃

50. Direct Me in the Right Way

12th July 1973

... "What do you mean by that?" I asked, slightly offended, and it must have shown, as Roger hurried to swallow his beverage, shaking his head rapidly.

"No! No, I didn't mean that in any bad way or anything. He just tends to get too nervous in relationships. He's overly sensitive, so he thinks a lot about a lot. The girls he's been with before didn't like that, so they took off. It's a compliment, really it is."

"Well... I guess I'm also like that, so I understand when he's like that..."

"Exactly! That's why it's working out for you both so well." He grinned. "Everyone loves you two together. Brian hasn't been this happy or confident in a while."

It felt nice coming from Roger. It was as if everyone else had validated my relationship with Brian, apart from his best friend, so when he finally confirmed his approval, it made me feel calmer. I felt relaxed and relieved. It was okay, everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you, Roger..." I started, my voice soft and thankful. "It means a lot to me." I nodded, pushing a smile through easier than before.

"I know it does. Oh, and, uh... Don't worry about me and Emma. I'll work it out." 

Maria and Roger sat in silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. They both knew there was a conversation they needed to have, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be. Sipping their hot drinks, they searched for a way to break the ice and address the elephant in the room.

"We haven't talked about it," Roger said abruptly, shattering the tranquillity of the moment. Maria understood exactly what he meant, but like any socially awkward twenty-three-year-old, she was hesitant to admit it. "We need to talk about it, Maria."

"I know," she quickly responded, her gaze fixed on her lap. "I know we need to talk about it. But there's not much to be said. It happened, and there's nothing we can do about it."

"Is it really that simple, though?" Roger asked, setting his drink down and turning to face her. "If it were anyone else, I wouldn't care and would never speak of it again. But it's you this time. I slept with the one person I promised I would never touch, yet I still did it."

"I said there's nothing we can do, Roger," Maria stated, her voice carrying a hint of forcefulness as she locked eyes with him. "We can't tell anyone what happened. This never comes up, do you understand?"

Roger was taken aback by the sudden demand in Maria's voice, but he recognized the validity of her point. They had made a terrible mistake, and it was crucial that it remained a secret for as long as they both lived.

"Trust me, sweetheart, I'm not planning on saying anything," Roger replied, a touch offended by Maria's choice of words. "But just so we're clear... You're not into me, are you?"

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Rog, absolutely not," Maria scoffed, her voice laced with disbelief. "Never in a million years."

"Good, because I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole," Roger retorted, feeling a twinge of offense at her words. Another silence settled between them before he spoke up again. "Promise you won't say anything?"

"I promise," Maria assured him, her voice sincere.

.

Imperial College was quiet that day, enveloped in an eerie stillness. The bustling thoughts and unspoken worries of countless individuals blended into the background noise of an institution that cared little for personal struggles. Maria had sought solace within these walls, hoping to escape her own problems, but life had different plans. She knew this day had to come, even if she had been avoiding it with every fibre of her being.