Thruple

When I was around 24, I had a 'smack-in-the-face' discovery that I was attracted to women. I remember thinking, 'wow this feels different'. I'd always had monogamous relationships and sexual experiences with straight cis men. But femme-identifying folk have a beautiful tenderness and soft aura which envelopes you in such a way that a masculine presence never could.

A fantasy, in the beginning, it grew playfully into moments of intimacy with a close friend. Then, after a one-on-one experience, we had our first threesome with a male partner of hers. That night was a heated blur of multiple brushes of the skin, watching, and exploring entangled bodies. Intoxicatingly special. I loved every moment and knew deep down, experiences like these would be a staple in my sexual journey yet to come.

In 2014, I moved to Italy and while working in a gorgeous event space, I met a woman named Catherine and we clicked straight away. I'll never forget the presence she held in a room, you couldn't help but notice her. Working closely over four months. I knew she was married but learned they were in an 'open marriage' and 'polyamorous'. A quick google search sufficed as education because, boy, these terms most definitely weren't in my vocabulary beforehand.

Fast forward to November 2017 and at a friend's theatre performance I met Catherine's husband Marcus, and sparks flew. Catherine saw this too, I caught a big smile spread across her face. Nothing happened with Thomas that night, however, unbeknownst to me Catherine and Marcus went home and chatted about these sparks.

Soon after, Catherine cheekily arranged a three-way dinner date where flirting glances across the table, soft brushes of the hand, and innuendos made us giggle. Catherine left Marcus and me to continue the evening, which finished with him staying at my place.

As my relationship with Marcus flourished, naturally the time spent in their family home grew, and before I knew it our 'two times' became 'three times'. Catherine and I had become much closer, exchanging heated kisses. I had gained a best friend and possibly the most intimate connectivity (I had ever had) in one powerhouse of a woman!

Sheepishly, I kept everything about Marcus and Catherine quiet with friends and family in Australia. I grew up in a very small country town and I knew that being in a relationship with a married man would ruffle feathers, let alone newly becoming a poly unicorn! in some context, in the polyamorous community my label about our three-way-relationship is known as 'unicorn', which is a bisexual person who's willing to join an existing couple and practice ethical non-monogamy.

In March 2017, I opened up to my family, of course, this was confronting news and they were shocked (we'd grown up in a community of mostly white hetero monogamous relationships). However, they could see how happy I was and kept my best interest at heart. Over time they grew to see the unwavering support and family base Catherine, Marcus, and their parents have become to me.

Throughout our relationship, I made several trips back and forth from Italy to Tokyo, some for extended periods. The rental game in Tokyo can be brutal so I stayed with Catherine and Marcus in their home along with their seven-year-old son for a few months at a time here and there. The first time we lived together we had been in a three-way-relationship for eight months.

The one thing we were always asked was: "Do the three of you share a bed?" It still makes me giggle because if we had the chance to sleep in three big beds, we'd all sleep separately! However, when we lived together two of us shared, and the other slept in a separate bed, depending on our schedules that day.

Our sexy time generally happened as three. I chose to sleep by myself mostly, however, Marcus would visit me on the sofa bed where things got heated before residing in bed with Catherine upstairs. If Catherine and I shared the bed we would natter away until some ungodly time before exchanging a passionate kiss and falling asleep.

Our relationship was genuinely based on emotional intimacy. Of course, there was sex but I LOVED being the third person in the relationship. I stepped into a well-established marriage which meant I didn't have the experience nor the memories which they'd shared in the past but that was also the beauty of it.

We were in a three-way-relationship and 'open', which meant we were each other's immediate partners, yet we also had the freedom to date, other people. With a grounding of open and honest communication. But all of my needs and wants were being met within this relationship. Plus timewise, it was all I could manage.

Our time together flowed so effortlessly, I never felt left out or jealous when Marcus and Catherine were together - even when they shared intimate moments in front of me. Funnily enough, I experienced 'compersion', the feeling of joy when you see another's joy, for the first time when they kissed in front of me. Awash of warm and fuzzy feelings filled my soul, seeing two people I love, love each other.

We'd been together for ten months when I spent three months in Australia over Christmas and New Year 2017/18. While I was away, I met a guy who quickly became significant and a romantic connection blossomed between us. When I told him that I was in a poly and open relationship with a married couple, it took some digesting! But we grew close very quickly and were inseparable for those three months.

Before this trip, Catherine, Marcus, and I had been through a tough time and this Aussie hunk swept me up, gave me obscene amounts of love, and put me back on the right track. Although it didn't last past those three months, we've remained close friends. I shared everything about him with Catherine and Marcus and they supported it wholly.

Sadly I'm not with Catherine and Marcus anymore either. Like any relationship, people change, circumstances change, and we morph into our current situations because of this.

I still love them both so much, this hasn't changed. However, I have chosen to commit to my life path moving forward. There's no malice or resentment, just gratitude for our journey and experiences together.

For me, more poly and three-way relationships certainly aren't out of the question. It has been positively eye-opening, intensely rewarding, and a well-rounded experience. I've learned more about connectivity, communication, and compassion than any other life experience