Edge of Reality // Oliver Wood

✧˖* 15 *˖✧

Hot water travels through my long hair and down my spine as my brain hazily wanders off. Normally a shower helps calm me down; something to do with the steam and warmth of it all. However, this time my mind replays the events of last week. Over and over again.

That image of the way he stood there, with a clenched jaw and tightened fists, makes guilt take over my entire train of thought. Though it isn't his anger or incredibly jarring words that got to me the most, but the complete look of disbelief and betrayal in his eyes. I think he wanted to hide how hurt he was by my confession. But I knew right then that I broke his heart.

I miss holding his hand when we're walking towards classes. I miss sneakily kissing him, hoping none of the professors would catch us. Now, he won't even do so much as look at me. He avoids my gaze completely every time I try to make eye contact at dinner in the Great Hall and when I try to go up to him in the corridors, he just walks the other way. It doesn't matter in what direction he actually has to go. I know not to bother him during Quidditch practice though; I can't ruin those for him.

I can't fight this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. All I want is for Nova to hold me while I cry, while Hannah hands me a cup of her homemade herbal tea and Dani talks some jibber-jabber about planets to cheer me up. I try to hold myself together in front of them, but they see right through my mask. I want to talk to them about everything, but I can't even do that. I could never tell anyone else about my life, not after Oliver's reaction.

I turn the dial and the water stops running. I don't have the energy to dry myself off, so I just stand there, completely numb, waiting until the air does the job for me. The minute I catch the sight of myself in the foggy mirror, I can't hold back the tears any longer.

How could I ever have thought I could stay here?

I'm a fraud.

I don't belong here.

I wipe away the damp on the mirror, revealing my red, puffy face more clearly. Tears are trickling down my face and, together with the drops of water, I feel them softly fall down onto my collar bones. Their cool temperature sends chills through my body, and leave me with goosebumps on my skin. As I run my finger over my bumpy arm, all the puzzle pieces in my mind start to fit together.

And then it hits me.

✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*

I keep frantically hitting the frame of the Fat Lady's portrait, hoping someone inside can hear me. Filled with newfound fortitude, I had managed to dry myself off and put on clothes and I've now been standing outside of the Gryffindor common room and knocking on its entrance for over twenty minutes, much to the dismay of the Fat Lady and the other surrounding portraits. It's late in the evening after all, but I don't care. I need to speak to Oliver.

                "This is harassment!", the Fat Lady shrieks dramatically, "You just wait until Headmaster Dumbledore walks by, Miss Griffin! I'll tell him everything!"

                "I will stop if you open the door!" I threaten, determined to get in.

                "No other houses allowed!"

                "Oh, please!" I scoff, "You've seen me here a thousand times already!"

                "I don't care, young lady. No password, no entering," she shrugs and turns around in her chair so that her back is facing me.

Utterly annoyed, I stop hitting the frame. The other portraits sigh in relief as the clamour dies down. This is pointless.

Just when I'm about to give up and walk back up the moving staircase, I hear the voice of someone who may be able to help me out.