Close the Cover

Meeting

Look, whoever you are, you better close this book right now. You have no right to barge into this story at all, and I think I'd best be left alone. I mean, I never asked for anyone to barge into my business. Hell, I never even asked for anyone, least of all some stranger like you.

You came from The Outside, didn't you? You don't seem like someone like myself, not in the slightest bit. You don't have the eyes, you don't have the face.

You don't have the resilience.

Just to let you know, I hate Outsiders. They make me sick, from what I've read of them. You people make such drama over everything, it's hard to even comprehend how incompatible you guys could get. All Outsiders are such idiots. Annoying idiots. Idiots who have big ambitions, sometimes! but when their ambitions comes to fruition, they usually end up becoming nobody. Or, they hurt others with their ideals. It doesn't matter anyway. All you Outsiders end up the same.

Forgotten. And that's what I want you to do to me. Forget.

The easiest way to do this is if I never reveal anything that could possibly link us into some idiotic type of friendship or whatever.

Also, I just don't think you're worthy enough. You'll never pry anything out of me.

You won't know that my name is Alex, or that I chew my fingers out of habit, or that I don't have the best eyesight, or my favorite color is lapiz lazuli (even though I've never seen it before, and I only thought the words were pretty), or I absolutely hate—with every fiber of my being—the texture of these pages.

Wait...

Oh, god damn it.

What even made you open this book, anyway? What even gives you the right to barge into someone's business like it's nothing? You can't just appear in my life. I mean, who even does that? 

Pfft, Outsiders, of course.

But I want you to know something:

I've always been alone in these dank, dark pages with impossibly small letters. And you know what? I like it here. I like being alone, I was practically raised by it. I like having no one telling me what to do. I like not having stupid people to bother me. I like not having any stupid parents who "supposedly" try to keep you on the right track. I like not having friends who always barge into your business. I like being curled up in between these pages, hidden and alone in the dark.

It's all I've ever known, after all.

I like being here, in this umbra.  Being all alone, looking at the back of this dull cover for a sky. Why would I wish for something else? Why should I wish for something else? Everything is perfectly fine right now! I've always been an independent person, and I'm proud to say it. Being alone was my talent.

That is, until you came. You came, and you ruined my perfect streak of isolation.

But...

I have to admit, that light you're reading from feels pleasant. I've never seen my world like this before. I can see everything a bit more clearly, now.

I think I might have you stay for a while. Just try not to get too friendly with me, okay buddy?

See look, I'm already calling you buddy. You should be grateful for that. I've never called anyone buddy before. It is a title that I now bestow upon you, you naiive little Outsider.

Hm, Buddy.

Agh, Author, what am I thinking?

Okay, one more thing before I go.

What I want, no, need to tell you is something very important: don't get attached to me. Trust me, it's for the best. When you finally decide you have had enough of me, it's not gonna be a tearful goodbye. 

Like right now.

This isn't a tearful goodbye.

When you're done with me, I want you to make sure that our goodbye ends the same like today.

Dry.