Autobiography Thing?

Overview

  Hai everyone. So, I'm Mythy. My real name is Trinity, but eh, you'll understand why I don't go by that name. So, recently, I've been having a hard time with life in general. For one, I just turned fifteen on January 26th, and it feels pretty shit to be a teen, honestly. I remember when I was little, 16 seemed like such a big deal, but now that it's nearing, I'm not the slightest bit excited. Anyways, second of all, my parents can't pay the bills and such. We live off of my dad's paychecks and it just isn't enough for four people. Because yes, I have a baby sister, and BABIES ARE EXPENSIVE. It sucks not having nice clothes to wear and stuff, but that's pretty easy to deal with. I'm extremely thankful that I have anything to wear at all, even if it is getting a little too small, or has a few holes. It's life, I just gotta deal with it. Y'know? Mkay, onwards. So lately I've been extra depressed for... reasons. This is probably one of the hardest things about my life, currently. Mainly because alot of people don't understand, etc. So, I'm 99% sure I am transgender. My entire life, I've always acted boyish, I've always disliked girls clothing, and I've never really worn makeup. I remember being happy when puberty was over, and I was still flat chested. Thank God for that! It'd be so much harder if I was "big boned"  or whatever you'd like to call it. Anyway, people online have been really stupid about it. Like, this one guy (Let's just call him Jesse, because I don't want to throw his real name out there. I'm thoughtful like that.) So Jesse continuously flirted with me. No, I do not even know him outside of Facebook, so he could easily be some kind of sexual predator. He'd always say how pretty I was, and once, he even went far enough to call me sexy. This really bothered me. I finally got sick of putting up with this, so I told him that I plan on transitioning to a boy. He didn't know what I meant at first, so I explained how depressed my female body makes me. He said, "I like you as a female, btw." And that got under my skin. That is what people don't understand. No, I will NOT stay female just because you are selfish and want me that way. I care about others more than myself, of course, but I can't be happy like this, and people just don't get it. My own parents don't even know yet because I'm afraid they'll disown me, or take me to a counselor or some shit. No, this isn't a phase, and sometimes I wish it was just so I could find happiness easier. But for now, I'll just be stuck with dysphoria lingering around me for a while.

  Besides my self esteem being low because of gender, it's also because I am very underweight. I am 15,and I weigh 85 pounds. No, I am not anorexic. I find it offensive when people ask me that or call me that. And no, I don't weigh this much on purpose. I am ADD, and I take Adderall, which has more downs than ups. One of those downsides are that it causes loss of hunger, that means I don't eat lunch because I'm never hungry at that time. On top of this, I have fast metabolism, just like my dad. No, I don't fat shame, and I would never. But fat shaming is just as bad as skinny shaming, more common or not, it isn't right. Weight means nothing unless it gets to the point of unhealthiness. And I'm perfectly healthy. The other day, someone referred to me as "blonde skinny scrawny girl"  which hurt.

1. They called me girl. But that isn't their fault, they don't know I'm transgender.

2. I'm self conscious about how skinny I am already, people calling names doesn't help.

  Now, on the more positive side, I plan on getting my hair cut short soon, and donating my hair to those with cancer. And I have ALOT of hair. I've been growing it out for several years due to my mom thinking I'd look pretty with long hair. Little does she know, I don't want to be pretty. Gah. Anyways, yeah, positive, oops. I have two birds and a dog, and I love my pets so much. I just love animals. Animals are the best. Humans are shit. So yeah. c:

  That's all for the overview, the rest of these will be based off of one day, and this isn't gonna be a daily thing, I'm just gonna write whenever I feel like it, so yep! Baiii~