Crashing into You (Wattpad Edition)

Chapter Ten: Falling Without a Net

"I don't know if I'm ready," I told Leo, "But I want to try." I took a sip of tea. It warmed and calmed me as it made its way to my chest.

Leo leaned towards me, holding his cup of tea in both hands, waiting.

How can I possibly describe all the things I'm feeling to another person?

"I guess... I'm angry.. I can't understand how we were all together one minute, and the next..." My breath caught in my chest. Even though I was drinking the tea, my mouth went dry.

"We don't have to talk about it if-"

"No, I think I need to," I insisted. He was my best friend, and I needed to let him know how I was feeling. "I'm pissed that they're gone and I'm here. I don't understand why a God who supposedly loved them would let them die. There are terrible parents out there who get to watch their kids grow up. Who get to spend time with grandkids that they don't deserve. My parents were amazing, and they'll never-"

It was becoming difficult to breathe again. My hands shook as I took another gulp of tea.

"I won't get to have my parents at my graduation. They won't see my wedding. My kids will never know their grandparents," I started crying again, and my stomach started to ache.

"I am so sorry," Leo said, "Nothing I can say can make you feel better. I know you don't understand how God could let this happen, and I don't either, but I know there's a plan for-"

"Don't," I snapped, "Don't talk to me about plans and how everything happens for a reason. There's no fucking reason for this. There's no way God took my parents as part of some grand plan. Just... just don't," I realized I was yelling at him and that I'd spilled my tea onto the trundle bed.

"Tris..." he started, but stopped and just looked at me for a moment. He stood and left the room.

What did I just do? How could I talk to him that way? Where was he going? He won't want me to stay for the weekend, now.

I didn't know how I could fix it, so I started with trying to clean my mess. I pulled the wet blankets off of the bed, and snatched up my cup to take to the kitchen. When I passed him on the way to the kitchen, I'd apologize and beg him to let me stay.

Before I could get out the door, Leo came back into the room. I immediately started my apology.

"Leo, I'm sorry, I know you were just trying to help. I'm really sorry, please let me stay," I repeated myself several times as he stepped around me and began to try to soak up the mess with a kitchen towel.

"You can stay," he responded without looking up at me, "Let's just get this mess cleaned up."

When he wouldn't look at me, I knew I'd hurt him, probably as much as I ever could have. Guilt overwhelmed me. It came as an uncomfortable tingling sensation starting from the top of my head, moving down through my shoulders and chest until it settled in my stomach, tying it in a tight knot.

After he'd soaked up most of the tea, Leo and I took all the soiled bedding to the laundry room. When we passed through the living room, Lyla jumped up from the floor and asked if we wanted to play.

"Lyla, we haven't even had a chance to finish our tea yet," Leo told her, "you wouldn't want to interrupt tea time, would you?"

She shook her head and ran back to her spot on the floor. Tea time was sacred to Lyla; she'd never interrupt it.

We stuffed the dirty laundry into the washing machine and I stepped back while Leo started the load. He still seemed upset, and I was desperate to fix it.