closeness : stozier

7. check your email (for the 40th time)

stanley is back at the bus stop, and he's reflecting on several things. 

first of all, there's another dead bird. stanley would wonder where the dead birds are coming from, but there's another issue that stanley is dealing with. this bird was definitely ripped apart by another animal, and now there are approximately 15 ants, picking apart the bird bit by bit. it's an extremely gruesome sight, especially this early in the morning. stanley cannot stop looking at it. 

those ants love that bird, stanley thinks, and in a rather upsetting sequel of thought, i will never be loved the way they love that bird. an ant crawls by the front of stanley's shoe carrying a piece of the bird. the ant is holding it so closely, like it never wants to let go of it. stanley wonders where it's going. 

stanley succumbs and picks at his face. just a couple more minutes. just a couple more minutes. just a couple more--

the bus rolls up. he pulls his jacket further over his shoulders and steps up onto the bus. making his way to a seat at the back, wiping his face with his sleeve (staining it effectively) and sitting down. his brain runs. counteracting this, his laptop is pulled out of his bag. 

he checks his email again. there's nothing there. sighing, stanley looks out of the window of the bus. he picks once more at a bump underneath his nose, and then takes his hand down from his face. 

to: jennyksp@gmail.com

subject: therapy

hi i know it's been a while

i'd like to see you sometime soon

the meds are helping. i think so, anyway. 

i just find it a little hard to not think about it.

i went all yesterday without picking my face.

anyway. get back to me with your schedule and when you have a free spot

thank you, stan.

and it was true! the medication had helped a little this morning. he hadn't found himself worrying about the doorknob. to be fair, he hadn't checked for that either. that helped a little. he wanted to get better.

i want to get better, he thinks, looking at his rouge-stained nails, i want to get better. 

so he gets off the bus. he's not quite sure what he's planning to do today, just that his class is in the afternoon, and he wants to see richie for the morning. he knows he should probably work on something else, but richie's kind of all he ever wants to think about. 

instead he's thinking about the scab, opened and bleeding on the side of his face. it stings, and he knows people are looking at him because of it. but no, no, he wants--he needs to get better.

he knocks on the dorm room door, and his hands are shaking trying not to pick at his face. richie opens it and smiles warmly, letting him in as mike mutters hello from his face down position on his bed.

"so, um, you said you have an ointment?" stanley says quietly, richie nodding quickly, pointing to the chair by his desk for stanley to sit in. richie scampers into the bathroom, while stanley slowly sits down.

"you alright, mike?" stanley asks, slowly sitting down and looking at everything on the desk.

"i'm okay!" mike lifts his head up from the pillow, "i have a test in an hour, and i'm studying." he puts his face back in the pillow, and sinks further into the bed.

"by suffocating yourself?" stanley snickers a little.

"well, you know, if someone dies during an exam, everyone gets an a. so i think i'm going to do great." mike's voice is mumbled, but it's comprehensible. 

richie returns from the bathroom and sits on the edge of his bed, stanley scooting around in his chair. softly, richie takes hold of stanley's face, and undoes the container of ointment.  

mike rolls over and watches as richie cleans up stanley's face. it's a very gentle act, and mike snorts a little to himself. he looks up at the ceiling. 

"what's wrong?" richie asks while moving his finger gently over the bumps and scars along stanley's face.

"hm?"

"something's up. more than usual, your shoulders are all tensed up." richie rescinds his hand and screws the cap back on the container.

"oh. i hadn't noticed. well, my landlord's stopped replying to my emails, so there's that." stanley replies, resisting the urge to crack all of his knuckles. 

"sue him."

"thanks, mike. i will."