NCT's Girl Squad

Savage Like Me [LDH]: Chapter 19

Jean

I rose up from my bed to the shuffles from the living room. Half asleep, I went to open the door to see four of my friends awake, walking back and forth. "Hey. It's not like it's Jean's fault if he did that." Julie defended. "Did what?" I asked to get their attention. Once they heard my voice, they stopped as they looked in my direction.

"Since when were you standing there?" Keithlyn froze. "Just in time for me to ask what's there for me to blame for." I deadpanned. The four looked at each other before Leslie came closer. "Jean. We don't want to tell you because you might really blame yourself when it's not-"

"Just tell me." I raised my voice. Leslie widened her eyes before letting out a breath.

"Hyuck jumped off from the rooftop."

I stopped.

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Once we hopped out of the car, I started to run towards the glass doors of the hospital. I asked the nurse for his room before rushing in the direction where she pointed.

"Jaemin and I thought you guys were cleaning up that's why we went there after we cured Jaemin's wounds. After we went there, we saw nothing but a messy place. The television was untouched but everything was sprawled everywhere." Julie said. "I thought Donghyuck was still there." I said incredulously.

Can't hide the worry in my face, I ran and ran until I reached the room he was at.

"That's what we also thought at first, Jean." Leslie answered. "So we went back and was about to ask the ten of you as to what happened there when we met Jisung and Chenle going up the stairs." Julie continued.

"Chenle told us that Mark requested them to check on Hyuck on the rooftop. But we told them he's not there."

"We thought that he already left there when we heard people chattering getting louder from below. So we went outside and went on the edge to see people huddled on a body. We called Jeno to check it since he's the only one who's outside."

"He confirmed it was..."

"Oh my god, Hyuck." I softly gasped once I opened the door. Four pairs of eyes landed on me. The room was gloomy and quiet, only the sounds of the beeping monitor was heard. "I-I'm sorry. This is all my fau-" My eyes are getting blurry from the tears that are about to release. Jeno rushed to my side, "Jean... Hey-hey look at me." He said softly. "Jeno. This is all my fault. If I didn't let my guard-" "Look at me." Jeno repeated softly. I looked at him, sniffing.

"Jean. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault, okay? No one knows the reason why he jumped off." He assured me. I swallowed a lump in my throat before I engulfed his warmth through embracing him tightly. Dampening his shirt.

He rubbed a hand on my back as he let me cry. "I'm sorry, Hyuck." I whispered for the millionth time already. Once Jeno let me go, I slowly slipped from his touch as I went beside Donghyuck's bed. I took a seat as I drowned myself into the beeping of the monitor beside him.

He was lifeless on the bed. No rays of joy shined, his melanin skin was paler than its hue. I know that it wasn't my fault, I didn't push him or anything. But I was the reason why he did that. I couldn't help but feel guilty and sad. Guilty because they don't blame me even if they know I was the root cause. And sad because he wants to take his life.

I stay rooted on the seat. "Jean." Jeno called out softly. I didn't turn to face him. His face went closer to my ear where I could hear him whisper, "We'll head out-"

"No. Jeno. Stay here. I need you." I hiccuped the words as I kept my eyes on Hyuck. Jeno didn't comply, gesturing to our friends to head out. I then heard the door clicking. The room was still, quiet before Jeno pulled a chair next to me. "I wish I was there." "Are you still blaming yourself, Jean?"

I turned to him, "Jeno. I will never stop blaming myself because I dragged the both of you into this mess."

"You're not dragging me nor Hyuck. It's just a series of bad luck."

"Yes! And that's all because of me. I'm the reason why this luck is happening to the both of you."

My breathing became uneven, almost thinking that I'm having an attack. Thankfully, Jeno held both of my shoulders for me to force myself to look at him. "Hey." He softly said. "You're not bad luck. Okay? I already told you, don't blame yourself for something that you didn't do. Hyuck fell on the rooftop when we left him." Jeno explained to me softly.

"Understood?" He asked while I just nodded my head. His hand then gently went behind my head as he led me to his arms, comforting me.

"Thank you Jeno."

"Anything for my girlfriend."

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Blame me for that messy chapter...