Call it Fate, Call it Karma

The God in my Bedroom (Prologue)

He keeps coming back
No matter how many times I kick him out, threaten him with a gun, yell at him to leave, hes always in my room in the morning. I've given up trying, deciding to just ignore him. It only got worse.
He started following me to work, at first I noticed him on random streets, staring up at me. Watching me. Judging me. Then he got confident. He sat next to me sometimes, others across the roof. He was always just observing, never said a word. I found this was easier to endure then having to send him out every night.
I never believed in gods, but if they existed, was this their way of punishing me for all that I have done?

It was a rough night when we first spoke. I had woken up in a panic and he was just staring at me. He never slept, of course he didn't. I pulled my gun out of the night stand and went over to him, placing it against his temple. His eyes were so fucking bright. It was unnatural. He was unnatural. "Shoot." He uttered and my hand hesitated on the trigger, but untimely I dropped the gun. I started sobbing.
It was too much, this was too much. He was smaller than me, yet picked me up with ease. I hated physical contact, but his embrace as we laid down together felt safe, right. When was the last time someone held me like that. Made me feel like I mattered? When I was a child? No.. never. But I did not let him know I enjoyed this, in fear he would use it in one of his games.

He laid with me, playing with my hair, holding me close, until I was in a peaceful sleep. And the next morning he was gone. He was gone for a few days, a week, then a month. I started to get worried, but when he turned up  on my doorstep I slapped him and shut the door on him. I wouldn't allow him to see me cry. He saw anyway, I know he did.

And from that moment forward the postcards started. If he ever couldn't be with me he'd leave me one. Even if I was the one leaving. I found myself looking for them, and looking for him when I was at work. He had stopped coming after a long while.

We had a conversation one night, I asked him who he was and why he was here. He was vague, but told me he was a god. I did not believe him. He didn't mention why he was here, and we left it at that.

I noticed him smiling more at me, his comments got more flirty. I even noticed him showing up to watch me at work again. And I felt myself minding less and less. He still 'slept' on the floor in my room, but I found that sometimes, when I was having a tough night he would climb into bed with me and hold me close like he did that one night.

Why didn't I just shoot him. This would all be over if I did.

I found myself enjoying his company more and more. Found myself examining every detail In his body, from his face to his legs but I shook the feelings away.

This happiness didn't last long. A month at most. We had an argument, I said some hurtful words that I had been bottling up. Before I knew it,

He was gone.

~~ dedicated to my friend Kari. Thank you for dealing with my stupid ideas.