Numb | George Wealsey

trois

We cannot choose the things that will happen to us
But we can choose the attitude we want to take

-Broken by Lund

tw: panic attacks

It was the middle of January when George finally went back to his shop. It was like watching a baby learn to crawl and then finally walk. There was moments when he would fall and the set back could last up for a week, but he always came back.

On the outside he was healing. His body was becoming fuller. Molly had him sit in the kitchen and gave him a haircut, but on the inside he felt the same.

His mind allowed his body to work, but it never fully registered what it was doing. George followed his siblings blindly. He ate as though it was a chore. Each bite the same size. He chewed the same amount and swallowed with the same intensity.

He felt cold and his body felt heavy. His nights were sleepless. The time he did sleep he would wake up in a cold sweat. His jaw hurting from the silent screams he would release.

And now he stood in front of the many things that haunted him.

He numbly watched the mechanically hat move up and down. One of his own ideas. He remembered Fred and him standing outside their shop on opening day.

"Can't believe we did it Gred." The summer wind felt nice along the back of George's neck. The ribbon cutting ceremony was just about to begin and it wouldn't be long until their family showed up.

"We really did." The two twins stood in front of their store. Pride radiating off of them. Both full of ideas and dreams for their future.

But now George stood alone. The store still lit up and he could hear the whizzing of products coming from the inside, but it all felt too haunting. Like a dream right before it turned into a nightmare.

He felt something slip into his right hand and his eyes dropped to find Ginny's. George felt her squeeze it before she gave it a small tug towards his shop.

Ginny slowly became George's anchor. He felt the strong need to prove to her that he was okay even if he wasn't. He often stared at her face wondering if the wrinkles were from worrying about him instead of laughter.

The ringing echoed throughout his store as they entered. George looked around the store and noticed how the only thing that was different was the empty places from sold products.

"Can't believe we sold out on the first day." Fred said as he pat down his suit.

"It was a wild first day for sure." George said as he glanced up from the cash register. His twin's eyes twinkled as they scanned the empty selves. "We need to triple the amount of products we make if we want to ever have a day off."

"You got that right." The other said as he walked behind the desk. "Think you fancy a fun night in the muggle world? Can't exactly celebrate with everything going on here, but 'Mione talked about a club nearby when I asked."

"Of course Forge, we deserve to celebrate."

"I can stay if you want me too. I can always apparate back to mine and Harry's before practice." The worry was lanced in the sentence that came out of Ginny's mouth.

"No, I'll be okay. You need a good night's rest." He felt in pain as he forced the words out. They held no emotion and were monotoned.

From the inside he was begging for her to stay. He wanted to turn around leave the store and go back to his mum's. But then his mother's face popped into his mind. The look on Molly's face when Ginny told everyone that he decided to go back to the shop was pure happiness.

He could feel her hesitate so he took his hand and nodded his head towards the door, "I'll be fine. I promise. See you at lunch?"

Ginny hesitated as she made her way to the door. The way that George just stood like he was an outsider in his own store made an uneasy feeling come over her. But she trusted him.

"Okay I'll see you tomorrow. Love you." The door was half opened and she waited for a response but when there was none she decided it would be best to leave.

Once the soft click of the door echoed throughout the empty store. The cold feeling of being alone washed over him.

It started off as a long hum throughout his body. Even though the store went completely silent and still everything felt like it was going at a lightning pace. He slowly started to walk, but each step felt as if he was running; his surroundings flying past him. George tightly closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing but no matter how long he waited in between breaths; it felt like he was breathing too fast. 

His chest heaved rapidly and the humming through his body started to echo in his ears. He brought his hands up to his face. His head was throbbing and the sound wouldn't go away. When he finally opened his eyes everything felt ten times worse.

It felt like the store was closing in on him, but at the same time everything felt so far away. He needed to move; to get out of here. George started to move faster. He needed to be in his bed where it was safe and quiet. It the midst of it all, he forgotten the trick step they installed to show off one of their pranks.

George couldn't move from the step. The bright fireworks and loud bang pushed his senses over. He felt blinded from the brightness and his eyes still mimicked them behind his closed lids. His whole body started to vibrate and the only thing he could do was fall to his knees.

As the lights fade, the worse he got. The pressure that usually tied him down to his bed hit me and didn't let up. He couldn't move, he could barely even breathe. George tried to count and every three seconds he would try to hold his breath to help control, but his head was screaming for air.

His hands were shaking everything seemed to be going by so fast and everything was so bright. It wasn't until he felt a tear fall on his leg that he knew he was crying.

And that was miserable. He felt weak as his breathing increased. He felt weak as his palms dug into his thighs as if to psychically get a grip onto reality. He felt weak when he continued to cry even though his tear ducts should of ran out by now.

He needed out of the store. He needed to get away.