Pain

School will never change

Dear diary,
I go to melbridge highschool I'm 13 and I wish teachers would just  understand they give us assignment after assignment it's so hard to keep up and my anxiety is so hard to deal with always worrying did I do this do I do that, that could of  been better, remember you've got to stand up in front of the class and do your speech SHIT

I ran to my desk to fast my mind saying STUPID STUPID STUPID I've got a speech I haven't even started oh god what do I write about they are going to laugh at me I only have one friend shes going to leave me, I paused and said "just breath melany isn't going to leave you just write about what's in here" puts hand on heart
2 HOURS LATER
"Finally finished" jumping in joy it was crazy late and I needed some rest for tomorrow. I woke up to a DING DING DING DING DING DING after about another minute of the horrendous noise I smacked the alarm and threw it out my window  but I woke up and chose violence. I slammed my cupboard doors open, chucked on some clothes and plopped some makeup on I went down to make some toast but didn't realize the dial was on 6 so my toast was crumbly and crusty so I threw the toast out the window but it hit my bald dad and he chased me so I sprinted to school.

As soon as I stepped into the school grounds I felt eyes just staring at me everybody just watching me I hated it I tried to run but bethany, Laura and Amelia were already in my face I couldn't run they punched me in the stomach and slammed my head to the ground Melany came running and grabbed my hand just before I hit the ground fully the girls were gone and went back to being the innocent trio and the teachers favourites. I hated this school with all my gut nobody ever believes me except Melany and that's what I love about her shes my only supporter even my dad hates me and my mum doesnt even acknowledged me shes just there to look like shes a good mum. We got to english and I started to panic my legs shaking hands starting to shake my mind going crazy when BANG "LEXIE!" my teacher was banging a book on the table shouting my name just embarrassing 100x more "Lexie its ur turn for the speech" I stared in shock and confusion not knowing what to do untill my legs stood me up and took my to the front my hand were shaking and my voice had gone but I had to do it I took a deep breath and just let my voice lead me "We all ask why is she better than me why am I so fat why am I so ugly why arent I enough but maybe it should be why dont I think I'm enough we are human beings the most precious things on the earth yet people are killing themselves hurting themselves ever god damn day!! We need to be nicer we need to be supporting each other not bringing them down WE SHOULD BE LOVING NOT BULLYING!!" A smile spread across my face but it didn't last long as I saw everybody was laughing and throwing paper and books I ran out the classroom and just sprinted ran out the school and went to my special place. I climbed up the tree and sat there for hours crying and just thinking it got to sunset and i slowly walked home in the breeze just wishing my mum and dad weren't home. Luckily for me they weren't so I ran up and got in the shower but I was just crying and crying and then I was sat on the floor arms slightly bleeding SLAM I got up so quick got changed and hid in my room my dad was drunk again he was slowly pounding up the stairs and ge burst into my room and was searching for me I closed my eyes and covered my mouth but I felt a hand grab me hard and drag me from under my bed next thing I know a fist is pounding into my face
TO BE CONTUINED...... Ellieann01086234 my first supporter thank you for getting me into writing stories