Jaw

Chapter 16

Silena had always been hesitant to take Porco Galliard's advice. He was brash, inexperienced, and foolish– even if Silena had the tiniest crush on him (that kept her up some nights), she knew that much. Their methods were different: where Silena approached carefully with the cunning Zeke insisted she had, Porco charged in like a wild boar. He was direct and aggressive, two things Silena respected, but didn't possess.

But– maybe, just this once– he was right. She needed to talk to her mother; harness some of the directness that Porco seemed to use with ease.

Silena waited until Aunt Adele had gone to the store to approach Mother. Her mother and aunt had gone to the market on the far side of the Internment Zone together for as long as Silena had been alive, but after their disagreement on how to handle the Tybur situation, their sisterly outings had become far less frequent.

Mother sat on the plush armchair by the fire, engrossed in a thick book she was more than halfway through. Silena was reluctant to bother her, rationing that her mother would be much less agreeable if she was disturbed. But the idea of Porco chanting 'coward' at an increasingly loud volume haunted Silena when she tried to scurry away.

"Mother," she said before she could chicken out.

She raised an eyebrow but didn't look up.

Stronger, this time. "Mother, I need to talk to you about something. Could you– could you put down your book?"

Mother finished her page, dog-eared it, and put her book on the table beside her. While she did this, Silena watched her, picking at her already bitten nails and bouncing on her toes. Perhaps she could just move out instead. Mr. Finger would take her in until Pieck came back, at least.

"What did you want to say?" Mother asked when the long process was finished. "Sit down."

Silena did as she was told, pushing Aunt Adele's viola to the side so she could sit on the fainting sofa. (There had been very little music after Bettina stopped playing her cello. Aunt Adele took out her instrument every few weeks, only to pluck a few experimental notes and put it away.)

When Silena looked up from her hands, Mother was watching her. The tips of her ears felt excruciatingly hot under her mother's gaze. She opened her mouth. For a heart-wrenching moment, Silena wasn't sure any sound would come out, but she found her voice in the same sharp, harsh way lightning struck a tree. "I don't like the way things have been with us."

Mother raised a regal eyebrow.

"Since I came back from the Tybur estate, things haven't been right with us. I– I know why you're mad at me, and I think I understand why, but I miss you."

Silena caught her mother's eye as Mother looked up. It was almost too quiet for her to hear when her mother said, "I miss you too."

Relief washed through Silena and her shoulders relaxed. "Good." She couldn't help but smile. "Can we please just put this behind us?"

"No."

Her heart caught in her throat. Silena's smile slid from her face. "No?"

"Are you still working with the Tybur family? Are you still pursuing the Warhammer Titan?" Mother asked.

"You know that I am."

"Then, no. Part of me died when your father did– I can't allow that to happen to my heart again. I love you, but if you continue to pursue this silly dream of glory, then nothing can be the way it was."

Silena sprang out of her chair with an energy she had never quite felt before. Her fists clenched before she could stop them, and an uncomfortable prickling began in her nose.