New Rome

57. Drunk and Disorderly

Kai sat alone in his complex and drank morosely. He'd gone against his principles, against the oath he'd made, when he sent Kaze to war. Never again. He'd sworn. Never Again. And he'd meant it too. When he'd sworn that never again would he allow the imperator to send one of his children to war. Technically, he supposed he'd kept his oath. Graesen hadn't sent Kaze to the frontline. Kai had done it himself.

"Forgive me, brother." Kai groaned, thinking of Drusus. "I protected my daughter before I protected your son." He tried to drink from his glass, but the glass was empty. He set it down, his expression glum. He'd drunk enough. Sour-faced, he picked up his self – prepared to holographically contact Arly. Whenever he was down, talking with Arly (hearing about her school drama) always made him feel anchored. He tossed the self away from him. Remembering.

Arly was in the empire now. All contacts would be blocked unless approved by the Emperor and Imperator. Kai rose angrily to his feet and stomped to the drinks cabinet to refill his glass. "Damn him." He growled, thinking of the Imperator. The old man took everything from him.

                            Kai's face was flushed crimson and he stumbled drunkenly down the halls of the Castle of Red.

"Prince Kai, the hour is late and your current state is... too interesting to do you credit." Pallas intervened, seeing a drunk Kai lurching toward the Imperator's office. Pallas, the Imperator's secretary, gripped Kai by the arm. "I suggest you return home." He advised the prince. "Until drinks ill effects ware off."

But Kai was much broader and stronger than him. He shrugged out of Pallas' grip easily. Pallas saw traces of vomit on Kai's collar. "I shall call a private shuttle chariot for your convenience." Hopefully, Kai hadn't used a public shuttle to come here. The press coverage if he had could cause a storm.

"I must see the Imperator!" Kai demanded loudly.

"Words shared with him now cannot serve your interests." Pallas interceded, grabbing Kai by the collar and attempting him to tow him away from the office doors.

"IMPERATOR! IMPERATOR!" Kai bellowed at the top of his lungs.

"Stop this at once!"

The praetorian guard rounded the corner, prepared to escort Kai off the premises, just as Graesen opened his office doors. Graesen took in the sight of Kai and he frowned. He shook his head at the guard.

"Prepare a room for the prince. He's in no fit state to return home." He commanded.

"You!" Kai cried out, jabbing a finger at the Imperator. "You've been punishing me for years!"

"Apologies, Imperator." Pallas grunted, still trying to get Kai to shut up.

"You're punishing me for not staying a child!" Kai accused. Pallas' eyes widened with panic. "You liked me better as a child. More to your... taste."

The blood drained from Graesen's face and he glared at the lingering guard.

"Leave us. Now."

The guard fled. Leaving Graesen, Kai and Pallas standing in the hallway. Kai pulled Pallas suddenly into a headlock and the secretary's eyes bulged in surprise. "Release him, Kai." Graesen ordered, his tone deadly.

"He was my replacement, wasn't he?" Kai accused. "Pallas was just a boy when he entered your service. Did you hate that he grew up too?"

"Kai, this conversation is most-"

"ANSWER ME!" Tears shone in Kai's eyes.

Pallas swatted at Kai's arms, trying to get him to loosen his grip. But Kai didn't seem to notice. He glared at the Imperator. "I was three years old when you married my mother. People thought it odd. Why would the Imperator marry a divorcee? They assumed that you loved her. But that wasn't it, was it? I was the reason you married her."

Finally, Kai let Pallas go. Gasping for breath, Pallas quickly backed away from the former general. Graesen stared at Kai as if he were a ghost. Kai wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and held the imperator's gaze. "It was me you'd fallen in love with." The words hung in the air around them, seeming to make the hallway shrink.

Graesen opened and closed his mouth. They'd never spoken about this. About the relationship they'd shared when Kai had been a boy.

"I don't know why I'm like this." Graesen mumbled weakly.

"You don't know why you like young boys? No, nobody does. But they keep happily supplying you with them. I got to be made into a prince. Pallas, the slave boy, got to be freed. We all get rewarded for it. But what about what we lose?"

"What did you lose?"

Kai burped and he tasted foul spirits on his breath that made his stomach roll.

"You left me with a pain I could never tell anyone about." He slurred feebly. Never, had he learnt to let anyone in...

"What's all this fuss?" Livia questioned, coming from around the corner in a floral dressing gown. Graesen's face was grey but Kai groaned and clutched his stomach.

"I'm drunk." He told her. Livia clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

"Honestly, you're a grown man." She crinkled her nose in disgust at the smell from him. "Come Pallas, help me to take him to a room to sleep it off." She turned slightly to nod to her husband. "Forgive him, my dear."

Graesen already put up a placating hand.

"All forgiven." He murmured. 

Pallas and Livia took an arm each and proceeded to help Kai down the corridor. Kai's face briefly looked up and he met Graesen's eye. The imperator knew that it wasn't a mistake that Kai had suddenly stopped talking. Even drunk, Kai had one very strong priority. He never wanted his mother to know that the man she'd married had abused him.

He feared discovering... that she'd known all along.

*

                      Back in their complex, Wylo and Ellie were asleep in their bed. Ellie, half-awaking, rolled over and put a loving hand on Wylo's large pregnant belly. He nuzzled her neck and breathed in her sweet scent. Wylo smiled, happy to sleep soundly in his warm arms. They were a family. 

A perfect, happy family.