mummy || myg

XLVII: fear

"Joon, can it wait a day?" I hear Yoongi grumble as he balances his phone between his shoulder and his ear as he lifts a sleeping Chunhei from the backseat of the car. 

"I can take her," I whisper, taking the sleeping girl from his arms, "Everything okay?" 

"I don't know," He huffs out, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. 

We had finished up at the night market and Chunhei was out like a light. After a long day of shopping, playing, and visiting some of Yoongi and Chunhei's favorite places in Daegu, Yoongi had received a phone call from Namjoon halfway through the drive home. The conversation started calmly, with Joon's soothing voice ringing through the phone, but as we neared the house, I could sense Yoongi becoming more and more distressed. 

I take one last look at Yoongi as he paces up and down the driveway before shutting the door. 

"Chunnie?" I gently shake the little girl, "Can you wake up for me? We have to brush our teeth and change into some pajamas before going to be." 

She lets out a tired whine before wrapping her arms tighter around me and digging her face into the crook of my neck, "I don't wanna."

"Please, baby girl?" I try again, "It'll be quick. I promise."

She whines once more before slowly lifting her head up, hands quickly shooting up to rub at her tired eyes. 

"You gotta stop doing that, love," I frown, moving her hands away from her eyes, "You gotta be more gentle." 

Chunhei whines, once again slipping her head in the crook of my neck, "Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?"

"Of course, princess."

"Let's go inside?" Yoongi sighs, locking up the car before leading the way to the front door. 

"What did Joon want?" I question, treading lightly as the frustration becomes more evident in Yoongi's face. 

"I really don't wanna talk about it right now, YN," Yoongi quickly shoots me down, "Let's just go in." 

later that night

"Mummy, do you think we can take Holly on a walk tomorrow? Uncle also has a puppy that Holly likes to play with!!" Chunhei cheers as she gets into her pajamas. 

"That sounds fun, baby girl," I smile, smoothing down her hair, "Let's see if Daddy's up for it. Go on and get into bed, I'm just gonna check up on him."

I place a quick kiss on her forehead and help her climb into bed, handing her iPad over to distract her for a few minutes. 

Once we'd settled into the house and got all freshened up, Yoongi had been working on his phone and laptop. While I bathed and did Chunhei's night routine with her, he had been on nonstop phone calls. I began to worry as I sensed just how stressed out he had become. 

I padded downstairs to the living room where Yoongi had created his makeshift office and stop in my tracks as I notice that he is, like he has been for the past 45 minutes, on a phone call. 

"I thought I had made it clear that my schedule for the next few days was untouchable," He sternly speaks into the phone, "This is the only time I'm refusing a schedule change and it can't even be followed?"

I hold my breath as anger continues to seep into his voice, making me a bit nervous as I have never seen Yoongi this angry before. 

"I don't wanna do it, dammit!" He bellows, slamming a fist down onto the coffee table, "Figure that shit out because I sure as hell am not going to. It isn't my responsibility." 

I let out a breath as he ends the call. I consider running back to the room and just cuddling with Chunhei but decide against it. I quickly compose myself and walk into the living room, my heart dropping as a I see a frustrated Yoongi sitting with his head in his hands on the couch. 

"Yoon?" I meekly call out, silently hoping that my presence doesn't sour his mood further. 

I'm met with silence as he doesn't move from his position on the couch. I inwardly cringe and walk forward, putting on my bravest face and move to sit next to him on the couch. 

"Love?" I start, putting a hand on his back, "Is everything ok-"

"No, it isn't," Yoongi coldly interrupts, " Nothing is okay right now, YN." 

My blood runs cold as my name harshly leaves his lips. For as long as we've been together, Yoongi was never one to skimp on the pet names and rarely was I ever addressed by my real name. I start to panic and regret ever stepping into this space. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I push on, already in too deep to back out now. 

"No." Yoongi responds, cold and emotionless. He lifts his head up from his hands and shrugs my hand off from his back. 

"I really don't wanna talk about it, YN and I'd appreciate it if-"

"But, Yoon-"

"Don't interrupt me, YN!" He cuts me off, sending me an icy glare, "For once I'd like to say what I wanna say before someone else interjects with their own shit! For once I'd like for someone to listen to me." 

"Yoongi, I am-" 

"See, you're doing it again!" He roars, standing up to his full height, making him look much more intimidating, "I see what you're trying to do, YN and it's not helping. At all. All you ever do is try to fix things, but right now I don't need your help. I can figure this shit out on my own, YN. Just leave me alone." 

"What does that even mean?" I scoff, the words he just spewed slowly registering in my head, "You act like I-"

"Like what? Like what, YN?" He bitterly starts, moving towards where I was currently sitting on the couch, "You come in here acting like you have all the answers to my problems when in reality, sometimes you're just added baggage that I have to fucking deal with." 

"Baggage?" I whisper, tears starting to well up in my eyes, "Are you even hearing yourself right now, Yoongi?" 

"Yes, I hear myself loud and clear, YN and right now I really don't want you in my sight."

"You don't mean that," I counter, but he quickly shuts me down.

"Just leave me alone, YN!!" Yoongi roars, throwing a hand up in the air as I quickly shrink back into the couch. 

"Min Yoongi, what the hell are you doing?!" A female voice gasps, catching both Yoongi and I off guard.

Eomma stands in the entrance of the living room, hands cupped around her mouth as she stares at the scene in front of her. 

My fight-or-flight senses quickly kick in as I scurry off the couch, past Yoongi's mom, and up the stairs into the room Yoongi and I were currently sharing. I hurriedly lock the door and silently let out a breath of relief as I see Chunhei sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. I silently wipe my tears away and catch my breath, moving to also get into bed. I slowly get underneath the covers, careful not to wake the sleeping angel and pull her into my arms. 

"Mummy?" Chunhei sleepily calls out, snuggling into my side. 

"It's me, princess," I try my best to sound as ok as possible, "Just mummy. Go back to sleep, my love."

"Where's daddy?" She asks, causing more tears to well up in my eyes. 

"Daddy's," I start, taking a deep breath, "He's just doing something. Let's go to bed." 

Chunhei simply hums and snuggles deeper into my side as I wipe away the last of my tears. I hug her tightly one last time before I close my eyes, the fear of what tomorrow brings and the stress of the argument quickly lulling me to sleep.