Intro, rules & all that crap

55 5 9

by -Purple-Ninja-

by -Purple-Ninja-

Heyo.

It's me. The one and only Purple Ninja.

Don't even try and tell me "buT i fOuNd oTheR pUrpLe niNjaS" — I don't care.

Here's something you might enjoy. Now, you see, I came across myriads of books and communities. Some of them are great — most are trash, though. Want to go from trash to great? Simple enough, Purple Ninja is here for you.

I don't do belly rubs. Please don't ask for those.

I'm not an authority figure. I probably never will. I don't even care about becoming one. But I most certainly am what comes closest to finding an objective opinion. I don't sugarcoat things. I speak my mind. I mean what I say. If you don't like it, don't even think about ordering a review.

If you ask for a review and it doesn't "meet your expectations", don't even think about complaining. If my review doesn't meet your expectations, it'll probably be because your book didn't meet mine. The payment is a permanant follow and a shoutout. Don't tag anyone, nobody likes to be tagged. Trust me. And if you do, you're weird. (Totally judging you, yeah.) Well, if you really want to tag people, tag friends who are interested.

Review form:

Username:
Book title:
Genre(s):
Short blurb:
Something you like about your book:
Something you hate about your book:

Example: (cause some of you are dumb):

Username: Dummy69
Book title: The Toothless Billionaire And His Gold Digger Wife
Genre(s):
Short blurb: A young woman with breasts as big as her head meets a billionaire so old his maids chew his food for him. Will the two of them eventually fall in love, or will she kill him to inherit his estate?
Something you like about your book: my storytelling
Something you hate about your book: "my's speling end grahmmer"

Now a small poem for you:

🏆 If I deem your book a great read, I'll add it to my Hall Of Fame. 🏆
💩 If I find it to be crap, I'll add it to my Hall Of Shame. 💩

I think I've set the mood. I'll tell you what I liked and what I didn't. I'll probably be rude, and I'm not even sorry.

Answering some of your frequently asked questions
aka FAQ aka I totally made these up.

Who are you?
Purple Ninja. Real name: ◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼◼
(Don't tell me you thought I was going to do it.)

What do I earn?
Well, if getting (for once) an honest and not sugarcoated review of your work is not enough, there's nothing I can do for you.

Why do you do that?
I'm just too tired of the community being dishonest and stupid. Let's have some fun, shall we?