Forever in my heart

Chapter 4: What have I done!

Chapter 4:

It has been almost 4 days since William went to a business trip in New Zealand and I still have not received any calls from him. I called and called but every time his assistant would always pick up and tells me that he is either busy or in a meeting with his business partners. I sent him text messages, asking how everything is and telling him that I miss him but all I got back in responds to all the hundred of messages I sent him was “Busy right not, call u back later”, I waited and waited for his call but he never called. I am starting to get worried, I called Mason to ask if he had spoken to his brother and he said that they have been talking to each other but only about business. Mason does not also know when he is coming back home because just like William, Mason is also busy with their family company.

I know that when William left for this trip, we weren't really in a speaking term since he was still mad when I left to go to work when I had promised him that I will spend the whole day with him. I realized that I should have said I couldn't go to work when Dr. Hartley asked me to go to work. I should have stayed home with William and spend some time with him but instead I turned by back on him and left. I have been putting work over William for so long that I did not even realize that I was hurting him. William have always been supportive and understanding for as long as have known him but I should have also realize that him being understanding can only last for so long. I have taken advantage of him and I have forgotten what he really meant to me. 

I wish I can turn back time and just redo all the wrong doing that I had done and make our relationship to how it used to be. I have been pushing him for so long and I’m scared of the outcomes of my actions toward him. This four days that he has been gone and no communication at all, I've been like a crazy person. It made me realize just how much I truly love him and I don't know what the hell I'm suppose to do without seeing him for such a long time. Call me crazy obsess girlfriend but I miss him and I planned to be there more for him when he comes back. I just wish its not too late. 

William:

Four days in New Zealand and I have been working but also relaxing, away from stress and fighting back home. I feel bad that I haven't called Cassandra in days but as I am laying here watching the sun goes down, I realized that I do not miss her as much as I thought I should have. I guess I just got used to her working for so many hours that I don't crave the presence of her anymore like how it was when we were still a happy couple. This past few months with Cassie and I haven't felt like a happy relationship at all, we barely see each other, we never have time for each other anymore and we fight all the time…that is no longer the relationship we used to have. I miss the old days when Cassie would be the first person I would see once I open my eyes in the morning and her smile when she starts to wake up and notice that I am looking at her. I miss the way she use to laugh at every little thing even if they are not funny at all. Those weekend trip we take to the beach house or even those random lunch dates we would have just because we felt like it. I miss the days when the love of my life would make me smile just being by my side. I miss how she would spend the whole day just reading books with her tea on the table. Most of all I miss how everything used to be.

When I arrived here in New Zealand, I was greeted with this 5 foot 9 black haired woman with her piercing blue eyes. She looks so captivating. She introduced herself as Nina James, she is the one who will be showing me around throughout this business trip. I know it is wrong to be flirting with her since I am with Cassandra but it felt like it has been such a long time since I have actually felt this relax and happy….hell I haven't even laugh in months. Nina is a sweet person, she is part of the HR in the company I am meeting. Every time she would talk to me, I can’t help but stare at her eyes. 

It’s wrong, I know but this few days that I have spent here and with Nina, I couldn't help but feel something for her. She showed me around everywhere and also took me to some of the great restaurants. I had asked her to join me to dinner and she said yes, so right at this moment we are sitting at this five star restaurant with the view of the mountains. “So tell me what are your plans once I leave back home, I’m sure there will be no one coming to visit for you to show around.” I joked

“Well, as a matter of fact I will be leading the HR group in the company in New York. I am leaving New Zealand in a week time.” She responded, I don't know but when she said that she will be in New York, I kind of felt happy knowing that I will be seeing her again. 

“Then I will make sure that you will have an amazing guide to show you around, as well.”

“Well that is very kind of you William”

“I try, So can I drop you off to your place then?” 

“That’s very nice of you but it is not necessary, I drove here and I know that the car service is also waiting for you outside.” 

When we got to the front of the restaurant, I walked her to her car and when I thought she was about to get in she turned around and kissed me. At first I was shocked but I found myself kissing her back and I know it is wrong and never in a million years have I imagined myself kissing someone when I am still in a relationship. It’s wrong but I did not want the kiss to end. Our make out session lasted for couple of minutes and then she backed away and smiled at me “I’ll see you in New York, Mr. Knight. promise you’ll call me” she asked, I nodded my head and said I promised. I gave her one last kiss and then we both went to on our separate ways. 

As I got inside my hotel room, I realized that I was still smiling and thinking about Nina. As I was laying down on my bed, I heard my phone rang and look who was calling me and as if a cold water just poured on me when I saw Cassie’s name flashing on the screen. What have I done, I had promised Cassandra before that I will never cheat on her and I just kissed Nina a while ago but for some odd reason I did not feel as sorry as I should. I felt happy and content being with Nina and she’s like a breath of fresh air. She is captivating and she makes me smile.

No matter how much I like spending time with Nina, I still love Cassandra and I don't think I am ready to give up what I have left with Cassie. She has been there for me through thick and thin, no matter how much we argue she never failed to show and tell me that she loves me. Even this past few days that I have been avoiding her, she always text me saying she loves me and that she misses me…Oh God, what the fuck have I done. How am I going to tell her that I cheated on her. How am I going to make this right. I know Cassandra and when she finds out about this she will be so heartbroken and I don't know if I can handle seeing her being hurt. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE!!!!