𝐢'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡

chapter nine

billies pov.

i sat there, staring at ava until she drifted off to sleep. i get up gently, doing my best not to wake her. i walk over and open the door slowly, and shutting it gently. i walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror.

i can't believe she kissed me. she looked at me right there, like she never has. she looked at me like i was hers. she wasn't scared, she wasn't shaky, she looked comfortable. when she kissed me, i felt the whole world stop. i've kissed too many girls to count, and none of them felt like that. it wasn't forced, it was like her lips were meant to be on mine.

i splash some water on my face, trying to recollect myself. once i dry my face, i look up at myself.

who am i turning into? i brought her back to my house. my REAL home, with finneas. ive never brought a girl here in my life. i don't know why but i just felt like i had too.

i don't know why i went and had sex jay tonight, like i genuinely don't know. part of me was angry at ava still from earlier, and for some reason, i wanted a reaction from her when i went with jay. i know she saw me leave with her, but she said nothing. she is so hardheaded, she never fucking listened. i never wanted to pull out my gun on her either, but she pissed me off.

and when she walked in on me, i instantly regretted everything. the pain in her eyes, made me feel like i just got shot in several different places. i never wanted to see her like that. i never chase a girl, but i had to go to her. her eyes and her breath, i knew she was drunk. drunk and angry. and i knew there that she did all of that because she was upset.

because of me, because i left her. to fuck jay.
fucking jaylene.

when she ran out, i wanted to follow but she was gone instantly. and when i saw her dancing with jayvin, and making out with him. everyone else didn't matter anymore. i wanted to kill him. he was touching what was mine.

i would never turn on any of boys for a bitch, but ava wasnt just anyone. she was not to be messed with, i would kill for her.

i took her out the party because i couldn't see her stand next to him anymore, i was angry as fuck. but i could see in her eyes, she wanted to hurt me. because i hurt her. i knew there, she cares for me.

she didn't even care about the guns, drugs, the way i treated her. she saw past it all, she just saw me.

ive always known i cared about her, and i hated it. i haven't cared about anyone since my mom died, other then finneas and my boys. that's why i was so awful to her, i tried so hard to make her hate me. and i was almost successful a few times. but everytime she went to walk out, i wouldn't let her, i couldn't. i couldn't let her leave me. and she never did.

when i took her to my house, everything i've done, fell from my mind. i felt like i never was in mbg, i was still the same person i was when i was 14. i wanted to take care of her, like i did when i took care of my mother.

and when i saw the scar under her breast, it all came together. why she was so fragile, why she had so much anxiety, why her sister and bestfriend were so worried about her trusting people. someone hurt her, badly. i felt sick when saw it. i know i'm not good for her, probably worse then the last. but until i die, i will never let anyone hurt her again.

i snap out of my thoughts, and i head downstairs to see fin. i knew i was gonna have some explaining to do to him.

"hey bil, is your friend ok?" he said from the couch.

i sighed and plopped next to him. "yeah she's good, she's asleep now." i said.

"so who is she?" he said wiggling his eyebrows at me, laughing.