Hold Me While I Weep,

The first sign that something was bothering Jun was that he knocked. On Wonwoo's door, that too. It rarely ever happened to anyone, much less Wonwoo. Wen Junhui, being the hyperactive ball of energy he was, never knocked on anyone's door unless it was something incredibly important or something was wrong. He preferred barging into his members' rooms at the most unexpected of times, scaring the shit out of them. It had led to several events, that taught the other members to lock the door before they do anything not meant for the eyes of others(*cough* *cough* ;P). But, it didn't bother the others anymore. They were used to Jun's childishness and high-strung behavior. And listening to the sound of his little giggles and seeing the bright smile on his face, none of the members could get mad at him.

"Come in," Wonwoo said as he heard the light knocking on the door of his room, not looking up from the book he was reading. The door opened to reveal his boyfriend, down-cast eyes and hood over his head, hiding his soft blonde locks. Wonwoo watched, surprised, as the elder came into the room and closed the door behind him. Figuring that something was up, Wonwoo quickly got over the state of shock and lifted his blanket, inviting his lover into his bed and open arms. He watched as Jun trudged towards the bed and seated himself in between Wonwoo's legs, snuggling into his chest and laying his head on his lover's shoulder. Wonwoo put his book down and wrapped his hands around Jun's waist, nuzzling his nose into the elder's soft hair, breathing in the scent of Jun's shampoo. Oh!How Wonwoo loved holding him in his arms.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Wonwoo asked, slowly reaching to hold the elder's hand and intertwine their fingers. "Yeah...I'm good," Jun replied, voice barely audible. That was the second sign. Jun was one of the loudest members in the group and would rarely ever whisper. Especially whenever he was with Wonwoo, he would never shut up, always rambling on and on about anything and everything. It was one of the things that Wonwoo loved most about his boyfriend.

Slowly rubbing his thumb over Jun's knuckles, he became more concerned seeing that the dancer had gotten even more skinny. Wonwoo had noticed all these things the past few days, how Junnie would skip meals saying he wasn't hungry, workout for hours at an end, and dance until he was in a dead-like state. Jun had always been one to go to bed early and wake up early. But these days Wonwoo wondered if he even got sleep considering the amount of work he did. Of course, he'd tried bringing it up with the dancer but the other always shrugged it off, telling him not to worry or just changed the subject as a whole. Seeing the love of his life in such a condition made his blood boil. He was going to find out the reason behind his Junnie's state and kick that person's ass, whatever it takes.
_ _ _

Jun woke up the next day at 4 in the morning. It was early, even for an early bird like him. But he knew it wasn't early enough. At least, that's what he thought. He looked to his side to see a sleeping Wonwoo, who had probably passed out late in the night while reading his book, considering their position and the way his glasses were still on, but on the verge of slipping off the bridge of his nose. Slowly taking off the glasses and placing them on the nightstand beside the bed, he tried getting up from Wonwoo's lap but the younger was pretty strong and did not let go of Jun's waist. "Huff! How do I get up now?" Jun thought out loud, but it was just a bunch of mumbles. After trying to pry himself out of Wonwoo's strong grip for 10 minutes straight, Jun just groaned, giving up, and just sat there in Wonwoo's lap. He looked down at the younger's hand and smiled, grabbing them and caressing them with his own hands.

He sat there for 5 minutes before he felt movement behind him. He looked up slightly to see that the bookworm had woken up, or at least had tried to open his eyes, but the squinting gave away his sleepiness. "Hey, lemme go then you can go back to sleep. Ok?" Jun said, his voice barely a whisper to not startle the younger awake. Jun tried his best not to make a ruckus, not wanting to wake up the rest of the members. They were lucky their dorm, including the separate rooms, were soundproof (sleeping in a dorm that had paper-thin walls with 13 horny teenagers in relationships had proven to be very hard, thus resulting in soundproofing the rooms).

"Whazza time?" Wonwoo slurred, still sleepy. "It's still really early, go back to sleep Wonu," Jun replied. The rapper glanced at the clock on the nightstand and his eyes widened. "JUN! IT'S FOUR IN THE MORNING! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU UP SO EARLY!?". "Shhh. The others are probably still asleep," Jun tried to calm Wonwoo down, silently thanking the gods for the soundproofed walls. "Probably? They're ALL still asleep. Even Jihoon. Why are you awake at this ungodly hour?" Wonwoo said, his tone slightly lower. "I..uh..I gotta start practicing," Jun replied. "What do you mean start practicing? It's the weekend, we have two whole days for ourselves. Why would you want to waste the time we could spend together," the rapper questioned. He could see the hesitance on the dancer's face and shifty eyes. "It'll only be for 2 hours, I promise. I'll come back after that, ok?" Jun tried to say to get off from Wonwoo, but it proved useless as the rapper wouldn't let him go. "No, you're not going anywhere. You have to tell me what's going on. You've been acting way too suspicious the past few weeks and I'm not having any of this anymore," Wonwoo kept pressing on and on. "I- there's nothing wrong, I swear Wonu I'm fine. You don't have to worry," Jun finally managed to get out of his lover's strong grip. But he had barely taken a step before being engulfed by the rapper.

"Junnie, please. I can't see you do this to yourself anymore," the younger pleaded. Hearing those words, it's like a dam within Junhui broke and all the tears he'd held back streamed down his cheeks. He turned around and wept into Wonwoo's chest. The younger carefully tugged the elder back into bed and they lay there for 30 minutes before Junhui calmed down, weeping turned to hiccuping.

"Wonu... Do you think I'm good enough?" Jun asked, his voice barely a whisper. Before Wonwoo could intercept, he continued. "I was going through the comments of our MV's a month back and there were so many saying that I don't deserve to be in SEVENTEEN, that I'm only just a pretty face and sometimes not even that. I feel like there's no talent in me that's worthy of me being a member of our group. There're these voices in my head and they just don't seem to shut up. You're not thin enough, you're too pale, you're ugly, you can't sing, you can't dance. I don't wanna hear these voices anymore Wonu. I-I don't wanna be like this," he said, tearing up again. Saying all this out loud, it felt even worse, as though they were real. But it also felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from on top of his chest. He felt lighter, telling all of this to someone.

"Love, the thoughts come when we put them there. Do you believe all that bullshit? That you're not worthy of being a member of our team? Jun, you have no idea how much you deserve. You're so beautiful it blinds me at times. Do you remember when we shot the MV for Fallin' Flower? When they lowered you onto the ground and I looked up at you, I thought you were God, and I'm an atheist. You look so ethereal and unreal I wonder if you're just a figment of my imagination and that someday I'll wake up and you won't be there and my world will become black and white. YOU bring color into my life. Your voice could be compared to that of an angel's and when you dance... Oh my god if only you knew what you do to me when you move so gracefully. The truth is, this world doesn't deserve someone like you - a gorgeous, genuine, and amazing human being. Even I don't deserve your love for me. But you? You deserve the whole fucking universe and whosoever says otherwise, I will personally see to it that they die," Wonwoo felt like if he said anymore, he would be so embarrassed he would physically combust. "I. Love. You. So. Fucking. Much," he punctuated every word with a kiss.

The sound of Junhui's giggles filled the room and Wonwoo's heart melted. "Thank you, Wonwon. You have no idea how much that meant to me. How much YOU mean to me. I love you too, so so much."

Yes, they weren't perfect and had their ups and downs. But at that moment, nothing else mattered. It was just Wonwoo and Jun.

Heyyyyy y'all! This is my first wonhui ff and I really hope u like it :))) Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts about this in the comments! <3