Mr. Berkshire (Book 1 in the For Better Or Worst Trilogy)

Chapter 27

     It's Friday, the morning of the Belle pageant, and to say that there's utter chaos in the Calloway household, would be an understatement. It feels like the morning of Ana's wedding day, but even more important. Lucille, Ana, Willow, and Jackson scramble around the house, preparing for the event. My mom has even gone as far as paying for hairstylists and makeup artists to tend to us. The way she sees it, this isn't Willow's day, but instead, the day for Anastasia's dedication and creativity to be appreciated. Plus, a chance to see me as the little girl that I once was, a girl who did anything everything her parents wanted her to. 

     After having my hair drawn into a mermaid braid, something i'm incapable of doing no matter the amount of tutorials, and a minimalist makeup look painted across my face, I prepare my dress. This dress might not be something that I would wear to my own Belle ceremony, but, thankfully, it's not my own. The white gown has far too much tulle and glitter, very clearly my prom dress, but besides the red punch stain on the skirt - which I tried thoroughly to remove - it's presentable. I'm giving it a once over when the door bell rings, inciting my curiosity. A minute later, Anastasia stands at my doorway with a devilish grin displayed across her lips. In her hands, she holds a large white box with a yellow ribbon and a dozen pink peonies. Roman. 

     "Look what I found on the door step!" Anastasia squeals. She quickly rushes into my room, shutting the door behind her to rid any curious gazes. "It's from Roman." She carefully sets the box on my bed. "What do you think it is?" 

     Biting my bottom lip, I stare at the box waiting for an evil clown to jump out like a jack in the box. This morning I had myself thoroughly convinced that Roman had returned to Seattle and left my small town life behind. Apparently I was wrong. Hesitantly, I step toward the box, reaching for the peonies that rest atop. As soon as I take a whiff of them, i'm taken back to that day at A Likely Story when he first brought me these flowers. Simpler times. Setting the flowers aside with the utmost care, my fingers brush the edges of the box. 

     "Well, don't keep me waiting! The suspense is killing me." Whines Ana, her eyes burning holes into the box. At her request, I open the box to reveal a pure white gown. This isn't even close to the dress that I found at Magnolia's Boutique. This is grander. Long puffy tulle sleeves, white flowers along the sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and small flower petals to add to my hair, invite me to wear them. "Oh my-!" Without wasting another second, Ana rips the dress from the box and holds it against my body. "This must have cost a fortune! The fabric! The flowers! The design! This is the most beautiful dress i've ever seen. You'll be the princess of the ball." Lost in a daze, fingers brushing the fabric of the dress, I wonder what went through Roman's thoughts when he first laid eyes on the dress. How is it that he knows me better than I know myself?

     "I can't accept this." Attempting to fold the dress and return it back to the box, Ana yanks the fabric from my hands in the blink of an eye. 

     "Are you insane?! You know how many girls would die for this dress?!"

     "Well then, give it to one of them." I try to shrug carelessly, as if the idea of someone else wearing this dress doesn't drive me crazy. 

     "Could you stop already?" Annoyed, she forces the dress into my arms. "Grow up, Sawyer. You don't always have to be better than everyone. These traditions might be ridiculous to you, but it's important to mom. It would be nice for you to participate without judging everyone. Take the gift. Appreciate it. And for once, stop acting like the world is against you." After storming off, leaving me with the dress and the sting of her words, I sit at the edge of my bed. No matter how much her words hurt, they hold truth. She's right. Many times in my youth, I thought I was better than the women of Maywood because I wanted a life for myself and not to live only for the reason to be a wife and raise children.  I thought because I had goals beyond being a wife and mother that I was somehow more important. Even now, since i've returned, there's glimpses of those thoughts from the past. No matter how much I want to deny it, i'm no better than the people of Maywood. And maybe I don't have to be. Maybe I can live my life the way I want to, and be happy. And maybe others can live the life they choose, and be happy. Maybe there will always be a part of Maywood in me, because a small part of me is actually excited about this pageant. It surprises me how much my life is surrounded by maybe's. Every time when I think I have it all together, another mystery slaps me in the face. Maybe i'll never know myself completely, but I do know that i'm gonna wear this dress and enjoy myself at the Belle pageant.