Chapter twenty-one: I'm tryna be okay, I'm tryna be alright

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When I woke up from my nap about 2 hours later I checked my phone and saw 15 new text messages from Niall that I just ignored and got up. Walking over to my giant mirror in the corner I looked at myself and what I saw freaked me out. My dirty blonde hair was all tangled and matted, my usually bright blue eyes were red, puffy, and cloudy, my face was all red, and my Hello Kitty pajamas were all wrinkled. I walked into my bathroom and decided to take a shower. While I was in my shower I broke down and cried again which made me feel a little bit better. After I finished my shower I got up and wrapped up in my Batman towel and went into my closet to pick out something to wear.

I decided that today I wanted to look like Andy so I grabbed out my black leather jacket, ripped black skinnies, leather fingerless gloves, black leather combat boots, BVB pentagram necklace, handcuff belt, bullet belt, and a plain black tank top. After I got dressed I started to pack my stuff for tour. I had about 4 suit cases out that I'd need for my stuff. I filled 3 of them and left 1 empty because I knew we'd probably end up buying more shit we don't need while we're on tour and I'd need somewhere to keep the stuff. Packing took me about 20 minutes so after that I decided to go downstairs and eat because I was hungry.

When I got downstairs and into the kitchen I looked in the fridge for something to eat but I didn't find anything so I decided I would go out and get something to eat. I grabbed my car keys and wrote the guys a note telling them where I went and not to worry about me. When I walked out the door and went to my car I decided that I'd go to Starbucks and then Nando's even though it reminded me of Niall but I was really hungry and didn't care. Getting in my car I started it and pulled out of the driveway that now only held 5 cars instead of 6. I drove to Starbucks and got out of my car after I parked.

When I walked inside I saw that nobody was really here so I went up to the counter and ordered a mocha frappucino. After I ordered I went in a corner and grabbed out my phone then started texting Zayn.

Me:Hey Zayn

DJ Malik: Hey Ame. I saw your twitcam earlier

Me: Oh...

DJ Malik: Yeah and I love you too

Me: Really?

DJ Malik: Yes really

Me: Yay

DJ Malik: Yeah. So, what are you doing?

Me: Well, right now I'm just getting a coffee from Starbucks and then I'm gonna go to Nando's

DJ Malik: Oh...uhm...you might not want to go to Nando's

Me: Why?...

DJ Malik: The lads and I are here

Me: All of you or just 4 of you?

DJ Malik: All of us...

Me: Oh okay

DJ Malik: Yeah but you can still come if you want. Just hide from Niall

Me: You say that like it's possible

DJ Malik: Yeah I know it isn't but Niall is so miserable and quiet which isn't like him. He's not his loud, happy, food loving self. He's not even eating his Nando's. Just pushing it around his plate

Me: That's not like Niall at all...

DJ Malik: No, it's not

Me: It's his fault though

DJ Malik: I know but look at him

He sent me a pic of Niall who had his head on Liam's shoulder and was crying.

Me: ...I'm not hungry anymore

DJ Malik: ...you should probably go home and rest

Me: That's a good idea. Bye Zayn bear. Love you

DJ Malik: Bye. Love you too

With that I put my phone back in my pocket and grabbed my coffee before I got back in my car and drove home. When I got home I got out of my car and went inside. Walking into the living room I saw the guys sitting there watching TV and they looked up when I walked in. I grabbed a pillow off the couch and held it up to my face and screamed into it for a while before I fell on the floor and just cried for a long time. I finally fell asleep and I felt myself being carried to my room and placed in my bed.

Okay so kind of a sad filler chapter filled with a bunch of crappy emotional junk that I hate. I'm not really an emotional person but it fits in the story and gives a border to where I'm going to take it next.

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