start again | a story full of angst

chapter one - not what it seemed

                                                               
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I woke up with a jolt, my alarm clock going off. It was 6:30am, January 4th. Today was the day I started school. I was excited ..for the most part, but the other half of me was jittering with anxiety.

I actually got out of bed 10 minutes later, and slipped on my outfit that I had planned out weeks prior. I wore a black crewneck over a white collared shirt. I also had slightly baggy jeans that went PERFECT with it! When I finished getting dressed, it was already some time near 7:00- perfect timing! My bus would be picking me up at 7:40! - I brushed my hair, teeth, and I was finished at around 7:10. That was a perfect amount of free time I had! Also, since my school was remote learning at first, I had two friends that I was fairly close with, so I decided to call my friend Sofia, while texting my other friend, Amelia.

While on call with Sofia, she did her best to calm down my anxiety. Time flew past and it was a few minutes until my bus came. I slipped my things into my bag, and told Sofia I'd see her at school, and then hung up. - I was so excited to meet her and Amelia! I took a deep breath, tied my shoes, put on my heavy jacket, and then stepped outside.

Five-ish minutes. I was outside for five or so minutes, and my bus hadn't come yet. I sighed, but didn't decide to go back inside yet- maybe he was a tad bit late! No worries..

I was now waiting for fifteen minutes. Keep in mind, it was extremely cold out, and the ground was covered in snow - though the streets were all plowed and weren't icy! I decided to go back inside- this day wasn't going as planned.

My friend, Sofia's bus would be picking her up at 8:20, we had different busses though, and I was supposedly first to get picked up from my bus- I mean .. that's what I got told!

Time flew by and it was already somewhere in between 8:20 and 8:30, and my bus still wasnt here. I was keeping watch outside my window too! I was sitting there for a long time- gosh! It was already 8:50! I sighed and told my grandma, so she ended up just taking me to school herself.

I was now sitting in the front seat of my grandmas car, switching my eyes from looking out the window, to looking at my phone. It took me some time to get to the school, since my house was farther than others.

It was already 9:00, and I was almost there, and school does usually start around that time, so I was pretty good! - But then my grandmother pulled into the school parking lot, and I gulped, fear running down my body in an instant. Busses were everywhere, kids were running and walking, and teachers were outside too, guiding the kids into the building. I started shaking, my anxiety at the limit. I was never this anxious for something.

I stepped out of the car and slipped my phone into my jean pocket, and then a teacher walked over to me.

"Hey! You must be the new student, Haley- right?" The tall male asked me.

I jumped and looked up at him. "Oh- yeah.." I said a little too quietly, yet he was still able to hear me- suprisingly.

He took me inside and into the office, and told me to wait, and that my friend was going to guide me to my classroom. Oh! That must be Amelia- or maybe Sofia!

He told me that my friend was there, so I gulped again and stepped outside and immediately saw Amelia standing  a little far out of the doorway.

"Ayyy Haley!" Amelia smiled and gave me a huge hug.

"Ah- Hi Amelia!" I smiled, and then turned to see a teacher standing behind me, I jumped a bit.

"Okay so now I know you guys are friends. Well, Amelia you better be showing her the classroom!" The teacher instructed.

"I will, Ms. Henry." Amelia reassured, and Ms. Henry nodded and closed the office door.

"Oh my god- It actually feels great to meet you!" Amelia chuckled, starting to walk.

"Yeah!" I smiled a bit, still shaking nervously as I followed her.

"Hey.. It's okay, I see your still shaking!" Amelia snickered.

"Well dude I'm nervous as hell!" I whisper-yelled so only Amelia could hear.

Amelia started to laugh. "Well, your gonna be able to meet Sofia! She told me you called her this morning!"

"Oh yeah!" I smiled. "Yeah, I cant wait to meet her too!" I smiled.

After we went up the two flights of stairs, we were extremely close to the classroom. I started to shake even more, a huge lump in my throat forming. I gulped.

"Dude! Its alright, calm down.. I bet you the kids in here are gonna welcome you! Especially my friendgroup Sofia, Jacob, and Matthew- We're all like family, dude!" Amelia reassured me.

"Ah.. I'm- Ah- Okay.. I'll try to calm down-" I gulped again, starting to pull on the hem of my shirt to calm me down a bit.

The classroom was right infront of us. Room 212. Right infront of me. I kept playing with the hem of my shirt as I walked in, seeing everybody stare at me as Amelia darted past and skidded to her seat. I stood there, like a complete idiot because I was searching for my desk. I jumped when the homeroom teacher started speaking to me.

"Hi Haley! It's so great to finally meet you!" Ms. Bruce smiled. "Your desk is right over there!" She pointed to the one desk in the back of the room.

"Ah- Hi.." I muttered. "Okay," I replied, slowly walking over to my desk. I sat down and emptied everything in my bag into my desk. My binders, my folders, my pencils, my pens, everything. - I took out my computer last. When I took it out, I realized I had forgot my charger. 'Oh no what if it dies.. Oh god I'm an idiot-' Was what ran through my mind. I calmed down a bit when Sofia turned around and waved at me. I waved back at her nervously.

Well, so far this day was not what it seemed.