Tired Eyes of a Poet ~ Todd Anderson

It's my birthday.

There's self harm in this chapter.

if this triggers you, you may skip.

I had just gotten done with rehearsals. Neil and I were chatting and walking back to the dorms. Todd was sitting off to the side of the path, looking down. I went over to see what was wrong with him.

"Hey, Toddy." I sat down next to him.

"Hi, Lia." He said in a rather depressed tone.

"What's up?"

"It's nothing."

"It's clearly something. Tell me."

"It's my birthday."

"Holy shit. You never told me it was your birthday!" I exclaimed.

"You know why." Todd frowned.

"You still should've told me!" I laughed.

"I'm sorry!" Todd laughed along.

"What'd you get from your parents?" I asked.

"The same desk set as last year."

"That's wonderful."

"Nat, Todd. What's happening?" Neil came out of literal NOWHERE.

"It's Todd's birthday. He got the same thing as last year." I smiled.

"Well, maybe they thought you'd need another desk set. Maybe they thought..."

"Maybe they don't think at all unless it's about my brother! His birthday's always a big to-do." Todd paused, then looked down at the desk set.

"The stupid thing is, I didn't even like the first one."

"Look, Todd, you're obviously underestimating the value of this desk set," Neil smirked.

"What?"

"I mean, this is one special gift! Who would want a football or a baseball bat or a car when they could get a desk set as wonderful as this one!" Neil exclaimed.

"Yeah! And just look at this ruler!" Todd exclaimed. We all laughed.

"You know what Dad called me when I was growing up? 'Five ninety-eight.' That's what all the chemicals in the human body would be worth if you bottled them raw and sold them. He told me that was all I'd ever be worth unless I worked every day to improve myself. 'Five ninety- eight.'" Todd frowned. Neil and I shook our heads.

"When I was little, I thought all parents automatically loved their kids. That's what my teachers told me. That's what I read in the books they gave me. That's what I believed. Well, my parents might have loved my brother but they didn't love me." Todd looked down.

"Fuck your parents. I don't like you. I LOVE you. You aren't like the other boys at this school, trying to be a teacher's pet. They only care about grades and impressions. I mean, take Cameron for example. That kid has a stick shoved so far up his asshole that he can't think straight. He only cares about how he'll look to society. Not about any of us. You, on the other hand, care about all of the Dead Poets. You actually care about me. My parents want me to succeed so badly that they've actually forgotten about what I want. It's all about being successful, not about what she wants. My parents don't even know I'm acting in that play. They think I'm working hard on trig and nothing else. In all reality, I'm going to meetings for poetry and breaking so many school rules that I would get expelled if anyone found out about it."

Todd's expression completely changed.

"You... love... me?" Todd questioned.

"More than my own family."