Before I Met Him

"You are worthless!" he screamed at me, his face scrunched up in an ugly way that made him all the more intimidating. "You will never amount to anything, Eliza!"

"Look we are just friends!" I timidly said back, trying not to make eye contact with him because I know that will only make this situation worse. Eye contact to him means defiance and he will accept nothing but obedience. "I promise, I love you, not him. You're my boyfriend."

Slap.

"You are so full of shit. I saw the way you looked at him-"

Slap.

"- you obviously have feelings for him, so stop lying to me, you bitch." I could already feel the angry, red handprints appearing on my skin.

Slap.

"You know I love you, you are the one I want to be with."

"I am so done with your shit, Eliza," he said angrily, spitting in my face. "I am your boyfriend, you will do as I say!" He grabbed my wrist tightly and pushed me up against his blue bedroom wall. His parents are at the law firm they worked at and his brother is at a friend's house. No one is here to hear my screams in pain. No one will protect me against this monster.

"You will be sorry you ever looked at him." He whispered angrily in my face, my arms pinned above my head. He knocked me to the floor, kicking me in the side. I cried out in pain, curling up in a ball on the floor, tears streaming down in my face. "You will only look at me."

• • •

I awoke with a scream, a thin layer of sweat covered my body. I thought the nightmares were gone. I guess I was wrong. I pushed the thought out my mind and swung my legs out of bed to start getting ready. Today was supposed to be happy- a new start. I was finally getting away from everything. Looking in the mirror I took a deep breath. Smiling I told myself this was the right thing to do. Walking out of the bathroom, I grabbed the last of my bags and headed downstairs.

As I walked into the kitchen, I saw my mom look up from her book at the breakfast bar. Her blonde hair perfectly framing her face as she took a sip of her coffee and smiled.

"Good Morning Eliza," my mom greeted me. "Are you all set, ready to go?" I could see in her bright blue eyes that she didn't want me to go, but she respected my decision about it.

"Yes, ma'am," I sighed, giving a weak smile. I didn't really want to leave my parents either, but I had to. I had to do this for myself. The memories this town held were far too strong and I needed to get away.

I was to drive myself to Anderson University, since it was just 30 minutes away from home. The car ride to campus seemed longer because I was alone and caught up in my thoughts. But this time gave me a chance to reassure myself that this fresh start is exactly what I needed, in order to find closure in myself and that soon my life would be back on track. The days to follow were filled with getting used to the campus, unpacking, and freshmen orientation, so before I knew it, it was the first day of school.

I woke up remembering why I had to leave. I walked to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, thinking back to a time when this simple action could degrade me so much that I felt next to nothing.

• • •

I groaned as a turned over in bed, feeling the repercussions of the night before. I winced, slowly sitting up and rising out of bed. I turned away from the full length mirror hanging on the back of my door- I don't want to see myself right now. I don't want to see what I have become- a worthless coward. I've been made a puppet, chained and manipulated by my own life. I knew from the pain I had at least bruised a rib and that there were hand marks all down my arms and on my wrists from where he had grabbed me. I couldn't be this person anymore. I needed to get out of this so called relationship.