Cry of the Unbroken ✓

✒ P I E C E S

Warning: This chapter talks about Ahsan's past. Mentions of sexual and emotional abuse. Allusions to more explicit things. Please proceed with caution. 

To avoid the more detailed parts, don't read what's between //TW//

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It began like this –

When his parents were still alive, Ahsan loved going for sleepovers at his cousins' places. He was an only child, lonely and needing playmates. All his paternal cousins lived close by, but he loved his middle chacha's house the most. He had three cousin brothers there, the youngest his age, and two who were older by about two years each respectively. There was also a cousin sister who was the youngest of the family.

Sleepovers there were filled with pillow-fights, playing board games and occasional movie nights and takeout. It was a rowdy and playful atmosphere Ahsan revelled in, but he didn't think he could live there every day. He was far more attuned to the serenity and quiet solitude of living with his own parents.

When he lost them, it was almost a natural conclusion that the middle chacha will take him in. They had a small, terraced house with two bedrooms and an attic. The little cousin sister stayed with her parents in a room, the two younger brothers took the other bedroom. That left the attic for the eldest. 

This attic became Ahsan's new home.

The attic was spacious if a bit cramped due to the sloping sides. Chacha decided placing two beds there would leave no space to put even a foot down, so the double bed that was occupied by Anwar stayed, with the two boys sharing it.

No one thought anything was wrong with that. They were both boys, and this was where he slept whenever he had sleepovers previously.

It worked out perfectly. Or so everyone thought.

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It started off very gradually, even when Ahsan thought back on it now, he couldn't quite pinpoint when it started. Perhaps the biggest problem was that there was only a double duvet, rather two singles.

Many mornings Ahsan woke up tucked within his cousin brother's arms. The first few times, Anwar laughed awkwardly. "You really do move around too much, Ahsan."

Ahsan didn't notice at the time that they almost always woke up on the left side of the bed, not the middle. Anwar slept on the right side.

No matter what, they woke up tangled anyway. Ahsan gave up in the end, and just accepted it.

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After that winter arrived. A disadvantage of living in the attic is the extreme heat in summer and the extreme cold in the winter. Anwar would wrap his arms around him under the duvet with a whine.

"I'm so cold! Warm me up!"

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It didn't take too long for Ahsan to get used to skin ship.

Between all his cousins, Anwar had always doted on him the most. In any family gathering, he would be the one to seek out and make sure Ahsan got his share of food. In game nights, he would make sure Ahsan was a part of the games.

And when everyone was squished in the living room to watch a movie, and there would be no space for Ahsan to sit, he would be one to hold out his hands and shuffle Ahsan onto his lap.

♦

No matter how much he forced himself to think back, he still couldn't quite pinpoint when the touching went from normal sibling affectionate to weirdly intimate.