Stuck in my head

😫7

Living with Taehyung is a sort of strange limbo you've never, in a million years, pictured myself in. You aren't close enough to be friends but you've matured out of being the true enemies you had both envisioned the yourselves as in freshman year. The both of you walk around his apartment like you're afraid to talk to the other, waiting patiently for the bathroom when the other person's inside, trying to keep yourself busy with nonexistent work it is winter break, after all and the apps on your phones.

This is the sort of thing i dreamed of when you were a freshman. A Kim Taehyung that i could co-exist with peacefully. Someone who didn't spend every waking moment of his life making every waking moment of yours unbearable. I used to find excuses to sleep overnight in the library it was open 24/7, after all just so i wouldn't have to go back to your dorm and see his stupid face. Now, the two of you sit on opposite ends of the couch minding your own goddamn business and doing two totally unrelated activities. In silence. The only noises being his refrigerator/freezer combo when it starts making ice and the sounds of my fingers hitting the keyboards on my laptop. Maybe he's playing a video game on the Playstation 4 he keeps out in the living room, but he has headphones on and isn't saying a word.

It's a very strange sort of limbo indeed, because no opportunities arise for you to become friends nor do any arise for you to become enemies. At this rate, you'll live together for the month-long winter break and when it ends, you'll go back to never speaking to each other again.

And that, strangely enough, makes you sad. Makes you want to reach out to him, try and build up a relationship that last ended in absolute chaos so that when you leave this place, it won't have been for naught. You will have gained something from it, no matter how small.

But just like usual, Taehyung beats you to it.

"Hey," he says one day, walking into the living room and already pulling on his overcoat. "You free right now?"

"Yeah, why?" I ask, shutting my laptop as i turn to him. He's all dressed up and i've been wearing the same hoodie for the past forty-eight hours.

"Let's get hotpot. I'm freezing and I want some hot soup and meat."

So, we go and get hotpot.

Like any normal university with more than approximately three East Asians enrolled, there's a hotpot place right off campus that many a college student frequent. i have, admittedly, not been since freshman year, but this winter break you seem to be reaching back into all of those memories anyway, like a can of worms. Memory worms.

"I'm starving," Taehyung says as the two of you sit down. He's already opening the menu, eyeing all of the different ingredients he can order for a simple All-You-Can-Eat fare. "Plus, I've been craving hotpot for weeks now."

As if on cue, his stomach grumbles and I can hear it from across the booth.

"Even my tummy knows," Taehyung says, placing a palm to his belly to soothe it. "Have you gotten hotpot before?"

"Yeah, but it was a while ago. I just never had the time to go for a whole two hours and pig out on food," i say with a sigh. It's been so long that i barely remember what it tastes like.

"Then we'll spend every minute that we're allowed to here, eating as much food as we want and gaining a few pounds while we're at it," Taehyung says, determined. The waiter comes by to pour you both some water and he already begins to order, pointing to about fifteen different things on the menu before the waiter whizzes off.

"I don't think I heard a single word you told that guy," i say candidly. Taehyung listed everything off so quickly that it went right over your head.

"I just ordered a lot of food, so be prepared," Taehyung says like it's a promise. He's got this glint in his eye, one that tells you that you should be glad i came on a fairly-empty stomach because it's about to be filled to the brim.

And how prepared you are. Within five minutes of Taehyung ordering, there are plates and dishes and boards of food in front of you and a steaming pot of broth in the middle. There's so much on the table that i can hardly see the marble table top underneath.

Taehyung dives right in, clearly an experienced hotpot eater. He grabs two bowls filled with various sauces and pops a couple of the vegetables into his mouth as he waits for the broth to boil. And when it begins to bubble, he immediately begins dumping everything in sight into it, from meat to noodles to vegetables. It all looks ridiculously appetizing.

When the first round of hotpot is over and done with, i already feel myself starting to get sleepy just from the consumption overload. Taehyung, on the other hand, has apparently no limit and is already ordering more, pointing to another fifteen things on the menu.

"Never thought we'd be doing this, did you?" Taehyung asks, and i can hear the knowing tone in his voice. Like he already knows how you're going to answer him.