Away With the Fairies (The Swallow Barn Cottage Series, Book 2)

Come Up and Down

"I'm sorry, what?" she asked.

"When the time comes," he said in the same neutral tone.

"Time to marry you?" she asked bewildered. "Is there a– schedule?" Some sort of a daft disbelieving chuckle escaped her. "Well, hypothetically, if we're still together after a long time, and you propose, because I'm never going to– No, I still don't want to be married again," she said, stubbornly shaking her head.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because it's been a living hell for me for twelve years!" she exclaimed, and marched by him into the lounge. "Because when I was marrying Nate, I thought I was doing the right thing. That that's what people are supposed to do. And I believed in the whole thing, in the vow, and the promise, the bond between two people, and– See where it got me?" She picked up the half full bottle George had left on the coffee table and poured herself more wine. "Would you like some?"

He shook his head, and she saw him purse his lips even tighter.

"And I remember my wedding day, like it was yesterday, you know," she said and took a large sip of wine. "And how definite it felt, how... finite. Like my life was ending. And I kept telling myself that I was being mental, and that it was the beginning, and how everything would start making sense soon–" Her voice wavered, and she drank more wine. "And I just feel– cheated out of it. Deceived. Like I was promised something that could never exist."

He walked by her slowly, leaning onto his cane heavily, and stopped by her easel.

"I'm not Nate," he said gravely, and Fiona choked on her wine.

"Of course not," she said.

"Then why do I get the same treatment?" he asked darkly and looked at her over his shoulder.

"What? That's not what's happening here," she said.

"Is it not?" he asked, his frown even deeper now.

"Will, I don't understand what upsets you," she said and took a step towards him. "I'm not doubting our relationship, I just–"

She wasn't sure what to say - and he just watched her silently for a few seconds.

"You just won't marry me," he stated after the pause.

"Well, it's not like we need to decide right now!" she said with another awkward laugh.

"You have," he said. His face was set in harsh lines.

"But it's just a formality!" she exclaimed, starting to feel almost irritated by his glaring. "It means nothing! It doesn't at all determine whether people are happy together. It's just– a pretence!"

He narrowed his eyes at her.

"It's not if you take it seriously," he said.

"And you say it with such conviction," she muttered and finished her wine. "I just think people put importance on it when it suits their goals, and then discard the whole idea when it doesn't anymore. And I don't want to participate in this game anymore."

"And if it's important to me?" he asked, and she gave him a look over, taken aback.

"Why would it be? Are you religious?" she asked.

"No," he answered. "Not a church-goer, at least."

"Then why bother?" she said with a shrug. "And again, Will, I honestly think it says nothing about a relationship."

"It does to me," he deadpanned.

"What? But– why?" Fiona looked him over in shock. "Really? Is it because of your brother? Because he's married, and you want to have the same?"