Dearest of Hope

Chapter 2

Meanwhile, a few days have passed since the group that made fun of me were here at the diner.
Ryder doesn't seem to miss his leather jacket, because he hasn't picked it up. It is always behind the counter.
I'm clearing a table when I notice Abby standing in the doorway to the office, watching me. With a wave of her hand, she tells me that she wants to talk to me. So I quickly finish clearing the table and head for the office.
As I mentioned before, Abby has been working at the diner for a long time, meanwhile she got herself a small office in which she takes care of financial things concerning the diner, because she is just too old to run around to serve people. But she's definitely earned it.
As I step into the office, I sit down across from her on a small armchair. Abby is eyeing me, it almost seems like she's afraid to talk to me, or anyone for that matter, about the subject.
"Abby, is there any problem?", I ask her with a curious look.
Since I was a child, I have always been a curious person, but I also think too much about many things and drive myself crazy.
As usual, I'm already thinking about the worst scenarios, like Abby giving me notice or customers complaining about me. Abby seems to notice what kind of chaos is forming in my head and exhales briefly.
"Honey, don't worry about it. It has nothing to do with you explicitly. Well, in a way, it has something to do with all of us. So everyone who works here at the diner. We're starting to have financial difficulties here at the diner. I've been trying to get it under control, but the state has noticed," Abby tells me. She seems to be hiding something, so I nod slowly and look at her carefully.
She sighs briefly and then continues talking.
"Bella, they're going to shut down the diner for me. Either that or I'm going to have to start laying off staff. And that's a job I can't take on, you're all doing a flawless job here.". She rests her head on her hands and closes her eyes for a brief moment.
I myself am quite shocked by the news and just look at my hands.
  I know that I would most likely be terminated as well if Abby decided to fire people. In situations like this, people tend to look at who needs the job more. Is it the 35-year-old woman with two children or the 19-year-old student who has many other options?
I swallow hard.
"Who knows anything about it?", I ask her cautiously.
"You and me. And just the ones who want to close the diner," she says. She seems to notice my frustration and smiles encouragingly at me. I know Abby is scared herself, though, because her smile doesn't reach her eyes.
"There has to be another solution. Anything!", I say desperately.
In the two years I've been working here at the diner, I've just grown so fond of it all. I don't want to, no, I can't lose all this.
"The only salvation would be if some rich businessman started investing in the diner, but who would do that? Those greedy idiots would rather build a ten-thousandth shopping center here," Abby says.
I look out the window and sink slightly into thought.
I'd love to ask Abby what happens next, but I realize she doesn't have an answer.
After a brief conversation with Abby, I finally leave the office with a thousand thoughts and get back to work.
I'm so deep in thought that I almost run into someone in front of me, but I notice the person quickly enough to dodge.
"Sorry," I mumble softly.
"You didn't happen to see my jacket, did you?", I hear a deep voice ask. I am immediately aware of who is standing in front of me.
I look up and actually see Ryder in front of me.
"Oh, yeah, I found your jacket! One moment I'll give it to you directly!", I say and make my way towards the counter.
Ryder follows me and I quickly hand him his jacket.
"It's been a few days, hasn't it?" I say with a humorous undertone.
"Doesn't interest you, does it?" says Ryder provocatively.
My smile changes to furrowed eyebrows.
His eyes radiate so much coldness that a shiver runs down my spine. At least his ice blue eyes match his expression, too.
"Um, yeah, sorry," I say quickly and am about to head out, but Ryder beats me to it and asks me what my name is.
Somewhat perplexed by his sudden change of mood, I need a few seconds before I answer him.
I turn to him and look into his eyes.
"My name is Bella.", I say, pointing to my little name tag hanging from my shirt.
"What about you?", I add.
"Ryder.", he answers me
Of course, I already knew his name, but it would be kind of weird if I knew his name without him introducing himself to me, right?
There is a short pause between us in which we both say nothing.
Ryder seems to be about to say something when the bell in the kitchen rings, which means that the food for some table is ready.
I look at him questioningly, however Ryder seems to understand that I need to get to work and he just nods at me and thanks me for giving him his jacket back.
So I get back to work and time goes by faster than I thought it would.
Around 10pm I finally get off of work and start putting my stuff away.
To be honest, I'm pretty tired today, so I say goodbye to my colleagues quite quickly.
I could hardly sleep tonight. The thought kept coming to my mind that I might lose my job soon. And then what? How am I supposed to pay my rent then? Under no circumstances will I move back to my parents, I'd rather be homeless.
In the end, there will be some kind of opportunity, but I'm afraid that it will be even more stressful for me. Abby always makes sure that I have some time for myself besides college and studying. Therefore, she also offers me often to let me go an hour earlier or that I have to start later. Of course I deny this, after all, I need the money more than anything else. And what if my next job is across town? I can't afford a car and buses don't drive that late.
Fortunately, the diner is only about 40 minutes' walk from my apartment. Already 40 minutes scare me to walk in the dark.
Since the end of summer is currently approaching, it is not pitch dark at 10 p.m., but it is already gloomy.
Since I already notice how I am slowly getting nervous again I reach for my cigarette pack in my jacket pocket and light a cigarette.
Actually, I don't smoke anymore. I quit when I turned 17 because I realized that this is not the life I want to live.
At that time I was still living with my parents. Since I can remember I saw them constantly ingesting all kinds of substances. From simple cigarettes to heroin.
So it wasn't uncommon for me to have cigarettes around, the less difficult it was for me to get some myself. Although I was never a chain smoker or anything like that, I noticed how I slowly wanted to try more and more drugs.
That all changed when, at 15, I had to watch my mother barely survive an overdose of opiods. It scared me to see her lying there so lifeless.
I didn't quit smoking immediately, but over time I began to worry that I would find myself in this situation. But that time I would be the one laying on the ground.
I am aware that smoking does not necessarily mean becoming addicted to other things, but I wouldn't dare to take that risk.
So I don't know why I bought the pack of cigarettes this morning or why I'm already smoking my third one of them.
I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice a car driving next to me. When I hear the horn I turn my head abruptly towards the vehicle. It is a matt black Porsche. I am kinda amazed by the looks of the car and only now notice the driver.
When I realize it's Ryder, I get nervous.
"What are you doing outside alone at this time?", he asks me after he has rolled down the window.
I step closer to the car and look at him.
"I just finished my shift and am now on my way home." , I answer him with a polite smile.
He nods and looks away for a moment.
"Do you live far away?", he asks me without looking at me.
"Not very far. A little over 40 minutes.", I say as chilled as possible.
He gives a short laugh. When his gaze meets mine again, I get light butterflies in my stomach.
I look at him a little puzzled.
"40 minutes is almost an hour. At this time you shouldn't be walking around alone for so long."
I just shrug my shoulders.
"Well, unfortunately I don't have the benefits of owning a Porsche that I can drive now.", I answer slightly sarcastically.
Then he smiles slightly. "I can drive you," he offers me.
"And why would you want to drive me?", I ask him and now I have to smile slightly.
"Let's call it goodwill," he says.
To be honest, I'm a bit ashamed to accept his offer. Given his car, he seems to come from a financially good home and I simply don't. In the end, he'll make fun of me.
"Come on, make up your mind," he says, tapping his steering wheel with his finger.
I clear my throat and finally toss my cigarette on the floor and open the passenger side of his car. As soon as I buckle up, Ryder looks me in the eye and I immediately regret my decision because now I'm going to sit next to him nervously for 20 minutes. After entering my address in his navigation system, he drives off.
For the first few minutes neither of us says anything when my stomach suddenly felt the need to make itself known and to growl and Ryder started to laugh slightly. In response, my cheeks are turning red.
"I'm so sorry," I say, embarrassed.
"Don't be. If you are hungry we can go out to eat. What do you think of pizza? Or do you prefer sushi?", he asks me.
I didn't imagine him to be so, well, polite.
I examine him briefly but finally say no. In the end, I'll just embarrass myself even more.
After a few attempts of him and the explanation that "eating out alone is damn annoying", I finally allow myself to be persuaded and we decide on burgers. Well, I decided on a small fries after all, whereupon he tries to convince me that that's not enough, but firstly I don't have enough money with me and secondly I don't want to eat too much. Still, Ryder ended up paying for my small fries even though I told him not to, but he seems to be damn stubborn.
"Don't you have to tell your parents or your boyfriend where you are?", he asks me after he has taken his last bite.
He gets up from the table and makes his way towards the exit whereupon I follow him.
"I live alone.", I answer him.
I don't want to go into detail and am relieved when he just nods and holds the door for me before he goes through himself.
"Explains why you live in that part of town.", he says and I don't want to admit it but somehow this sentence hurt.
Because the thing is even if I lived with my parents, I would live in such a part of this city.
But of course I don't want to admit that, and instead I let out a fake laugh.
The drive home is quiet and we arrived at the destination earlier than I thought.
When Ryder stops, I look at him briefly and take a five dollar bill out of my jacket, which I would have used to pay for my fries.
"For the drive and you didn't let me pay for my fries,", I say and hand them over to him.
"Are you crazy?", he asks me and puts it back into my hand.
"You don't have to pay me for it.".
"I insist," I say resolutely and press it back into his hand.
When our fingers touch, the area begins to tingle slightly.
"Bella, I won't take your money," he says, all the more determined.
I sighed and look straight ahead.
"Then the next time you are in the diner you will get your order for free.", I say with a smile and look him in the eye.
His lips form a slight smile and he finally nods. I clap my hands happily and only then realize how idiotic it must look, so I sink it back down and open the car door. Ryder seems to have enjoyed it though so I'm not that embarrassed.
"Thanks again!", I yell to Ryder as I head towards the front door and wave to him.
In response, he winks at me and drives off.
When I put my key in the door, I can't hide my grin. Finally I check my mailbox for mail, but when I see who has sent me a letter, my smile disappears faster than it appeared.