"So what are we?" He bristled and she hardened against the poisonous question, taking a few steps away. She turned when the floor boards squeaked behind her, to halt his advance, and turned to face him. "I think we've both been dreading this conversation." Her tone was low to counter his hysterics. She wanted space to think, and time to come up with a way to not break his heart. But he waited, patiently. Always so patient. Why don't I love him? The shame of it all boiled in her soul; date nights and cuddles and waiting by the phone, all that faking just for the company, even when she knew it meant something more to him. He still waited for an answer, but he grew sadder as she grew angrier. I asked if you were content for temporary. I warned you she wanted to say. She wanted to end it all now and save herself the pain. But that was the sort of selfishness she ought to stay away from, ought to avoid in order to heal her own soul. She took one breath, exhaling her own self concern and inhaling a sense of compassion for this person in front of her. "We are a couple. We are partners. And we are both individuals." She took a step towards him and took another breath, out then in, giving him a moment to respond. "Because we are a couple of individuals, I think we have changed in different ways over the last few months. I would not go back and do them over. Even the nights we were too drunk to speak or didn't at all help each other get stuff done." She smiled, took another step towards him. Now they were close enough that he surely felt her breath. She hoped he did, and saw how shaky the exhale was, saw how she looked down at their feet with matching green socks. She hope he saw her choosing to be kind despite the honesty, and would not feel betrayed by the words that slipped her lips as she inhaled slowly and looked him in the eyes. "But I do not want to be your wife."
YOU ARE READING
was just
HumorA Joji fanfic bc that's all I've been reading for weeks . . . There's more to it now. Whenever inspiration strikes and I don't have a notebook, it goes here.