(Maybe Not So) Out And Proud [COMPLETED]

(Maybe Not So) Out And Proud

Emery and Rosanne once again that day sat in Rosanne's room; more so her bed. But this wasn't the usual light-hearted chattering and comfortable atmosphere they usually share, this one was an uncomfortable dead-silence. Tension and unease filled the silent room as none of them has yet to speak.

They were both sitting crossed legs in front of each other. In all honesty they weren't that far away from one another, but in relation to what the bed had to offer lengthwise it seemed miles away. Because if they were to move slightly back one would hit the wall and the other would fall off, Emery, in that case.

Oftentimes they would love sharing physical contact with each other when they were alone, almost to a point that if anyone were to see them they would think they were touch-starved. Which in context made this situation unbearable for the young couple. Emery loves being all curled up, melting into Rosanne's body. Emery's back against the others chest as she browses her phone or plays with her girlfriend's hands. Rosanne usually laid her hands on Emery's tummy, hugging her, which made Emery feel secure. Though sometimes it made her think of her belly and became self conscious, everyone else at her school seemed to be much skinnier than her, but it seemed the other didn't pay no mind, so it was all fine.

Rosanne loves cuddling, too. She loves holding Emery in her arms while resting her chin on top of Emery's head due to the height difference. She always looked so adorable, Rosanne thought. And they would stay like that, simply enjoying each other's company. Which was just what they were doing earlier today until they decided to go on a little picnic in the late spring's warm sun.

It really was a great plan, originally, but sometimes it just doesn't go as you would've thought. So here they were, back from the picnic and they both sat at the opposite ends of the bed.

Rosanne was the one who clearly looked grumpy: With her arms crossed and her chocolate eyes darted downwards to seemingly nowhere, in thought, searching for the right words. Emery in the other hand fiddled with her hands and fingers, her sky blue eyes being locked at her girlfriend. She was nervous to say the least and also because, though unadmittedly, knew the cause of her girlfriend's change of mood. Rosanne eventually looked up and connected their gazes.

"Do you feel ashamed to be with me?" she asked sternly. That had Emery caught off guard with the sudden question. Of course she would just cut right to the chase, obviously referring to their not-as-romantic outing they had.

"What? No! Of course not, I love you and you know it!" Emery answered defensively, feeling timit.

Rosanne didn't respond. Instead eying Emery, signaling that she wasn't satisfied with the answer. Emery sighed, making the other know she got the message and will explain herself further.

"You know my parents don't approve of our.." She hesitated, thinking through. "..about this 'type' of relationships" She finished, looking down. She's looking down like that of a child who had just confessed to their parents that it was them who have broken that special vase that had been passed on for generations.

And like a parent Rosanne already knew about this, therefore trying to counsel the younger. "I know. Yes I know that. You don't want them to know and that's okay." She said with a sympathetic smile.

"No, but you don't understand!" Emery burst out. "They would think that I'm gross! That I am disgusting! They would be disappointed... They'll think I'm a failure..!"

Rosanne snapped at that. "Don't you think I know those kinds of things!?" Emery got taken aback while Rosanne continued. "Life can be hard, especially when homophobia and racism is all around town. Hell, you surely still have to deal with antisemitism and now all of my younger trans friends is getting depressed because of this stupid new law the goverment have enforced! Like seriously, who are they to decide if they should have hormone blockers, it's not even harmful!" She is irritated, to say the least. Her arms were flailing all around, gesturing to everything and nothing, before taking a huff and looking Emery dead in the eyes. "But what was important was that we said we were going through this together." She said. And it was true, they both promised each other. "But we can't do this together if you can't take that step with me. You have to stand up for yourself and let go of what people think of you. Society isn't made to make it easy for us, so you'll have to fight for yourself. So here's my question; Do you think that you are gross? That I'm gross? That we -what we have- is gross?"