You're sitting at your desk writing. Writing your suicide note. You've thought about this for months and its time you do it. You have the rope in your hands ready to tie it on the fan. You take one last look at your note, sign your name, and back away. You're shaking as you stand up on the chair tying the rope to the fan. You slip it on your neck, not believing its gone this far. You think about everyone that you're leaving and everyone who doesnt care about you. You know its about to happen. One foots off the chair. With a deep breath, youre gone. No turing back. Youre parents barge through the door like always, and stare. Stare at you for a long time. No matter how much you think they hated you, theyre in tears. Youre little sister, too young to know what happened, stares, thinking you'll wake up. You don't. You're dog starts licking your toes. Your dog understands you more than anyone. Your mom falls on her knees while your dad walks over to the note.
No one cares about you, right?
The ambulance untie you and take you out of your room. For good. Your dad walks over to your mom and show her the note. It said "Im sorry for being such a horrible child. Im sorry you hate me. Im sorry for not being strong enough. Im sorry to all my friends. But most of all, I'm sorry for everyone who pushed me to do this. I guess ill see you soon. I love you." Your mom rips up the note and throughs it on the ground. Your dad follows the ambulance out. A few weeks later they announce what happened at your school. The class doesn't know what to think. Some cry, some are shocked and don't do anything. That girl who always called you fat blames herself and is anorexic now. That boy who pushed you down the stairs blames himself and cuts every night. The girl who didn't do anything blames herself for not helping you and is depressed. Your dad who always abused you, he blames himself punches the walls. Your mom who thought you were so strong, shes in therapy. The coach who yelled at you to do better and made you run till you were sick quit his job.
No one cares about you, right? Right?
Your mom and dad have decided too move and give up parenting. Which means giving your sister up for adoption. She cried every night wishing you were here. You left her when she would need you too guide her through her life and be there for her. But little did she know she needed to be there for you. When your parents have to clean out your room, they cry. Carrying and packing boxes. They're about to get the last box, which had the rope. They open the window, about to toss it out, but instead, they set it on the top of the fan. Why? You don't know. They get the last of your things and leave. Leave the house. Leave your things. Left your sister with strangers. But you? You left them. They keep pictures on their fireplace in the new house. Your sisters with new parents. She has a new big sister. She told the sister what happened to you, and the sister told her she was the girl who caused your death. The girl who called you fat. The girl who's now anorexic. The girl who thinks she caused this. But your sister doesn't get mad, she just walks out of the room. Leaving her sister staring at the fan. Staring at the sky. Shes in tears.
But no one cares about you. Am i right?
Years later and your sisters now 13. She still remembers you. Does her new sister? Yes. She feels the same guilt she did when she heard the news. And for all the other kids, they still remember. Remember to smile at everyone they see. They all came to your funeral. They all have a special day dedicated to you at school. Your sister has a small photo of you in her pillow case. Your parents haven't forgotten. They try. But they cant. You took your life because all the pain you suffered. The pain no one should have ever felt. Your parents now say they don't have any children. Because they don't. The parents who think they're so horrible, aren't parents. But yes, life goes on. For some people. But no one cares about you, right? Wrong. Someone cares. All the people who hurt you care. Everyone cares.
