Finding yourself in the middle of a situation that you are currently unable to claw your way out of, is...rough. Its never fun and it sometimes turns everything around you into toxic waste, and not the kind that you can handle with a Hazmat suit, but the comic book kind. The kind that's unnaturally green, steaming, melts your Hazmat suit and most likely turns you into the Clown Prince.
You find yourself holding on to things that you don't need, but they represent a part of you that was...better, a part of you that had so much more time. Your own character development has plateaued and you feel like you're walking around in a shell of the person that you want to be, but being at home, surrounded by everything that is the real you is deafeningly blaze'.
Being forced to recognize that you are no longer a part of the life you thought you had and having no idea what the life you are now living is meant to look like, is startling. Walking down the hall at work, when you suddenly realize that you are in fact drowning in depression and anxiety and cant find a single thing to heave yourself onto so that you can breathe again, is stunningly, gut-wretchingly, terrifying.
Its hard to imagine yourself in any other situation because you don't know how to get yourself out of this one. Its horrifyingly circular. You cant afford to reconstruct your mental state because you don't have any extra money, you don't have any extra money because you work at a taxing job that doesn't pay you enough to deal with the job requirements, and the job requirements, along with other factions of your life, are quite destructive to your mental state, which you don't have enough money to fix.
Forcing yourself to search for financial gain outside of the only passion that you've ever had in life, is so sickening and mentally draining, but you cant actually keep living the way you have been. You need to say goodbye to your expensive vices, your biggest one being your shopping addiction, which you have because even though your parents made sure that you had food in your belly and clothes on your back, it was not consistently the types of things you would have picked out for yourself, so now that you can you do, and you do it often. Now you're surrounded by all these things you really really like but never use.
Saying goodbye to the person you used to be is sometimes overwhelming, is excruciating. When you feel like everyone's against you, whether they are or not, it's difficult to have the courage or confidence to do anything to better yourself. Sometimes bettering yourself needs to be uncomfortable. Bettering yourself means saying goodbye to the person you were, as much as you loved that person, as much as you wanted to make that person a part of who you want to become, you need to say goodbye to them.
YOU ARE READING
This is the Goodbye Scene
General Fictionsometimes, the best part of a story is the goodbye scene. If it comes in the middle there's so much room for hope and reconciliation. if its at the end it leaves you wanting more. Sometimes the goodbye is permanent, sometimes saying goodbye comes to...
