A Bird Among Serpants

1.12

I wake up feeling refreshed, my head clearer than it's been in awhile. Surprisingly, the pain in my leg now seems nonexistent. He probably got a healer to fix it up for me. I know i probably should look to see how bad it is, but I can't bring myself to. I'd rather just pretend like it doesn't exist. At least I can walk now. It would've been worse if he hadn't given me a healer.

I get up and look around, finding the emperor laying next to me. I briefly consider attempting to strangle him, but then think better on it and lean closer, running my hands through his hair at an attempt to wake him up. I may have set back a lot of the progress previously made yesterday, I should start that back up again today. Of course I need to start out a lot more distant or else it would be obvious to what I'm doing, but I can slowly start to manipulate him further most likely.

After a few minutes his eyes flutter open, him slowly getting up and me taking my hands off of him, "Good morning, master."

He bites his lip and glances at my leg. For some reason the emperor seems regretful. I don't know why, it's not like it changes our relationship much in my mind and he should know that. I wonder if it was a rash decision and he's regretting the impact that I have been making on him as of late. That's what I would be thinking if I were in his shoes. If it is it than it's bad for me, but at least it's probable.

His hand creeps down and slowly touches it, forcing myself to look at it. To my surprise, it doesn't seem nearly as noticeable than I expected. It anything, it's a small, slightly darker, blob. No one would be able to tell it was a sigil even if they looked at it closely.

"I had it healed by our professional healer so that it wouldn't scar as badly." He speaks quietly, "It was wrong of me to do that, I'm just not used to dealing with jealousy."

I stay quiet for a moment as tears slowly begin running their way down my face, myself doing my best to cover my eyes before the emperor can see, "T-thank you, master.."

The emperor quickly removes my hands from my face to allow my tears to flow and then kisses me. I go to struggle away as a way to make myself more interesting, but he pulls away and stops me, nuzzling his head close to mine, "I don't want you to not like it or act like you don't like it. Tell me, what can I do to make you feel better?"

I look away, not wanting him anywhere near me let alone to have sex with him. I don't know if I'd even be capable of getting hard today, "It's embarrassing to say outloud."

He glances at my face, seemingly seeing through my fake smile and taking me out of his arms. A breath of relief floods from me without my control as the emperor stand and gets dressed for the day. I know I should fuck him, but I really can't. Not now, not today. Even if I feel better, my mind is still emotionally tired. I don't think I'd be able to without vomiting or crying partway through, and that's worse than just saying no.

I get up and look at myself in the mirror to see that I look like an absolute mess. When's the last time I took a bath, I wonder? I don't remember ever having time or wanting to. Getting naked always felt so violating after I got raped that I didn't have it in me to take a shower. I probably should, it's a bit disgusting to think about.

"I would like to go somewhere with you today."

I glance up at him and smile softly, inwardly screaming in terror, "Where?"

He finishes getting dressed and turns to me, "Outside. You could use the fresh air I'd say. And I'd like to learn more about you."

I nod and look down at my ripped pants and shoeless socks, "I need to take a bath first if that would be alright."

"Yes, of course." He opens the bathroom door before walking towards the exit, "I'll get some clothes from your chambers, you start on your bath."

I silently question why he didn't just send a maid to fetch it for him, then decide not to question it and go into his washroom. Now that I think of it, why wasn't I just sent to my own room to change and bathe instead? He seems off today. Well, no, he's acting like he did the time I tried to commit suicide. I didn't get to speak to him much after that, but he was unsure of himself, quiet, apologetic, and almost human when I did. I guess he's kinder when he feels as if he's mentally damaged me. It's good to keep tabs on.