Sleep, O

Bellamy

Hi everyone. This is my first fanfiction for The 100. I started watching it late last year and absolutely fell in love with it. I'm not sure why it took me so long to write something, especially since I had a few ideas, but here's the first one.

This chapter is set near the end of S01E08 "Day Trip". I wanted to explore the Blake siblings a little more and thus, this was born. Also, because I think a sleeping Octavia would be absolutely adorable and a total 180° from the warrior she becomes.

I hope you enjoy this little story. Don't forget to Follow, Favourite and Review.

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Sitting by the entrance of the camp, she looks out amongst the trees, listening intently to the almost inaudible sounds the woodland creatures make and the whistle of the wind through the trees. 'I'm looking for butterflies.' She tells herself unconvincingly as her heart murmurs a single name, "Lincoln".

She barely feels the chill of night until she's surrounded by warmth. It's gentle, soothing and comforting. It feels like she has come home.

Fabric flutters over her shoulders and a large warm hand gently squeezes them. Her fingers brush against her brother's, accepting the soft blanket. She shifts slightly, allowing it to fully cover her small frame. But even as she leans back against the post, she refuses to look at him. She doesn't understand the hostility, why he had to treat him so crudely after all he'd done to save her. She tried to tell him but he refused to listen, he still thinks of her as the naive little girl sent off to the skybox at 15.

He can only look at his sister sadly. He longs to bundle her up and carry her in his arms like he used to. She always got cold easily, especially on cold nights on the ark when the heaters malfunctioned. So when that happened, he'd gather her in his arms, allowing his larger frame to envelop hers and share his body heat with her. Eventually, she grew too big for him to pick her up as easily as he did, but he couldn't bear to tell her no. Each time he held her, he was worried it would be the last, so he always told himself just a second longer.

Now, he doesn't need to worry about her being discovered, he can hug her anytime he wants, but she no longer wants him around. It's as if in the short few days since they first landed on earth, she's aged a few years instead.

But he knows, no matter how old his baby sister gets, she's always going to be his baby sister, his responsibility. And so, he can't help but bring her a blanket once he caught the gentle breeze of night.

"I don't expect you to forgive me." He tells her once she's settled down, looking far into the distance. It takes all his willpower to not close the distance between them, so he plants his feet firmly on the ground. The rift has been formed, he doesn't want to widen it. "But you'll have to find a way to live with me."

She wants to say something, a small part of her knowing that she already forgave him just because he's her brother and she'll always need him, but she keeps her mouth firmly shut. She needs him to know his actions have consequences, and he won't be the only one affected by them. She also needs him to know she's grown up and can make her own decisions. While she likes knowing she has him in her corner, she's able to take care of herself and doesn't need him to protect her from every little thing.

"Because I'm not going anywhere." He says it as a reminder to both her and himself. Part of him can't believe how ready he was to abandon his baby sister, the same baby sister he would kill for, just to make sure she'd be safe. But the other part of him, the part that only wants to see her happy, knew he couldn't live with himself he was the hindrance to her happiness.

He hopes she somehow knows he'll always be there for her, no matter how much she pushes him away. Because as they both know, his sister, his responsibility.

"Bellamy." Clarke calls out to him, making him turn his head. Octavia almost does, thinking about it for a moment. "It's time."

She turns to him, wanting to ask him, "time for what?" but thinks better of it, turning back to the blanket in her hands. It's orange, the colour of the sun in pictures he used to show her. She misses those moments sometimes, misses when it was just him and her alone. She doesn't mind the new freedom, but she misses having her brother to herself.

Slowly, Bellamy leaves. He wants to at least give her a hug goodnight but he isn't sure if it would be welcomed.

He steps towards Clarke, each step heavy as if there were a weight in his heart. He turns back to the little girl he had watched grow. "That grounder escaping." He lets out into the night. "Was that you?"

"I had nothing to do with it." She replies quickly, her body shaking a little, the tell-tale sign that she's lying betraying her words. He sighs before turning back to Clarke, ready to leave when her voice pierces through the night. "Thanks for the blanket."

He spares a glance at her, for the moment thinking that the olive branch he extended has been accepted, but she was turned away from him, not even able to look him in the eye with those challenging blue orbs of hers.

"She'll come around." Clarke reminds him as they make their way to the dropship. "Just give her some time."

At that, Bellamy can only nod. He misses his baby sister and how close they used to be. He misses being the sole person she could rely on. He knows it's his fault, he said somethings he shouldn't have in the heat of the moment. He knows it hurt her but the damage has already been done, and it's too late now.

He also knows it's selfish, but he's spent most of his life knowing that only he, and he alone, was all his sister had. A part of him just wants to go back to that, even if it means confining his sister to a small room where she would be safe.

He follows Clarke to talk to Jaha, ready to confess to his crimes and face his punishment.

They're towards the end of the call when Miller comes in. "Bellamy, your sister fell asleep at the gate."

Nodding in acknowledgment at Miller and bidding Jaha goodnight, he exits the dropship. It's easy to spot his sister's sleeping form, the new blanket wrapped tightly around her shaking form. She's curled up, just like she always is when she's asleep, and lying on the ground.

He carefully picks her up, tucking her head in the crook of his neck, and allowing his body heat to transfer to her. Even under the jackets and blanket, her body is freezing.

He takes her to her tent, rocking her a little more in it's privacy, as he lets himself feel her soft breaths against his neck and enjoy being able to hold her in his arms. He knows if she were awake she wouldn't let him hold her like this, she never likes being touched or comforted when mad, so he allows himself to revel in the moment just a little longer.

Once he's content and sure that she's warmed up at least a little, he sets her down in her little nest of bedding. It isn't much, she deserves better, but he tried to get her the best their makeshift camp had to offer. and tucks her in the few blankets he's able to scrounge up for her. He watches her sleep for a while more, the sight of her peaceful slumber giving him peace as well, as he carefully strokes her matted hair.

There's a bit of blood still caught in it and he reminds himself to ask Clarke to check on her. It's been a few days but he can't help but worry that she might still be hurt or that she's hiding her pain in order to appear strong.

He places a gentle kiss, one very much like the ones he used to give her each night on the ark before she had to go under the floor to sleep, on her forehead. He lets his thumb brush against her soft slightly scarred cheek for a while before finally leaving.

"I'll never leave you again." He whispers as he enters his own tent. "I'll always be by your side."

"My sister, my responsibility." He murmurs to himself as he falls asleep.

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