I can't do this anymore.
There's too much sorrow to feel, too many expectations to live up to, only to fail.
My life was going nowhere.
On this bridge, on its cold concrete edge, I stood with my head hanging low. No cars, no signs of life anywhere.
No-one to stop me from jumping.
Tears flowed freely down my face and stained the neck of my shirt. All the raw emotions in me came pouring out as a soft gasp escaped my lips.
This bridge held memories, memories of growing up with Andy. I'm not going to dive into that right now, I'm only going to dive into the cold churning water below.
Rocks lined the wall of the dam the bridge was suspended above, so I knew I would die if I aimed my body correctly. Even if I missed, I could still drown.
This was perfect for the site of my grave.
Looking down, I gathered courage to actually commit to this idea. The inspiration came easily, and I took one step closer to the edge. My eyes fluttered closed, squeezing one of the last tears I would ever shed out of my eye.
Chest heaving, heart pounding, fists clenched...I was ready to accept my fate and my death.
3...2...
"PENELOPE!"
A loud, familiar voice snapped me to attention. I spun around to find Andy at the lower part of the bridge.
"What are you doing?!" He shouted up to me.
"I'm leaving this life, Andy. I'm leaving so I don't have to let you down anymore." I yelled back. My voice was breaking and my body couldn't stop shaking.
"Why? You can't leave me, Penelope! I need you!" His eyes, his beautiful, life and hope-giving eyes were full of concern. His face was twisted into one of pain and sorrow. He was crying now as well.
"I'm sorry! I can't do this anymore! I'm not able to!"
"But you're always so happy! Why would you want to go?" He cried.
I was silent until I answered with "Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect."
His chest was rising and falling as he stared up at me in disbelief.
His eyes...I never knew the entirety of the world's pain could be held in one man's eyes.
They were begging me to stay, pleading. But I wasn't going to listen.
"Then I'll help you! We can help you stay happy, together!"
"I'm beyond help, Andy!" I shouted as I moved closer to the edge. He noticed this and I could see his breath hitch.
"This is not the way, Penelope!" He begged. "This is not the only way to deal with your pain!"
"Then what is?!" I screamed in response.
He fell silent.
"Goodbye, Andy." I croaked out. This brought him to attention.
"NO!!" He yelled and began to try and climb up to where I was standing, awaiting my death.
I turned around, burning the image of Andy into my mind. It would be the last thing I saw. Not wanting anything else to replace it, I closed my eyes.
And then I fell.
**3rd Person POV**
Her body hurtled down to the water, her hair whipping around her tear stained cheeks.
With a sickening crack, her back hit the rocks. A slight moment of pain is what she felt before her head split open and all conciousniess left her body.
Andy was scrambling to climb up, the tears in his eyes blurring his vision. So much in him was hurting, every fiber of his being. He slipped many times, but continued on up.
At last, he reached the top and found that she was gone. Down below, her body was floating in the water, broken, bruised, and bloodied.
Ragged breaths escaped the blue eyed man as he then made his way down to her. The water was shallow by the dam, so he had to use the dirt hill next to it to get to the girl.
Water up to his thighs, he waded in and stood over her. Her body had slipped off of the rocks and was in the water.
The blood that leaked from the back of her head had dyed the water she was in.
"Penelope..." He was able to choke out.
Embracing her twisted body in his arms, he cried into her hair. The feeling of having the one he loved gone had ripped his heart out. His world came crumbling down.
He rocked her back and forth whispering her name, but that wasn't enough to bring her back. Her head lulled back and her entire body was limp in his arms.
"Wake up..." He breathed.
"I need you to wake up...I love you, Penelope."
But she was long gone.
YOU ARE READING
This Is Not The Way {Andy Biersack One-Shot}
ФанфикI was in a mood when I wrote this. And to ensure maximum feelings, play and listen to the video as you read this. Of it won't load or work on here, go to YouTube or Spotify and look up The Way by Zack Hemsey. Warning: this gets really sad really...