us; han jipyeong | seo dalmi

the last letter

After all the hectic and traumatic day, all of them going back home and rest.

However Dalmi, after Dosan dropped her off of the house, she walks away to Halmeoni's old shop or could say, to the bird house.

When she reached there, she stands near the bird house and remembered how she yelled at Jipyeong for not being the 'Dosan' that she thought. With all the flashback she went through, she cried again for being dumb and ego.

The bird house with faded paint but still strong enough to put a piece of letter inside. She saw a letter inside the bird house.

She open it up.

To : Seo Dalmi.

I saw you in my dream last night. You looked so much like yourself, sweet and tender. We were kids in my dream, like an old days. We were talking and joking like in the letters, but this time we met each other like how we could be. I swear I never thought it would come to this. I'd never imagined it, or even thought it's possible, even for a second.

How is it possible? How can these images of me loving you, of you used to loving the 'me' in the letter, get mixed up with the horror ripping us apart today?

I know the time I lied to you, I already the bad guy. But I didn't expect for things to turn out this way. I didn't know things would be this bad that it hurts me, it hurt you the most. Maybe this is what I get for lying to you all this time, but just know that all the words inside the letters are from me, Han Jipyeong.

Everything you knew from me inside the letters, is just me. A "no one" that try to impress you but failed until today. Also I remembered when Halmeoni said you rejected those guys just because you think of me. That's so cute and sweet, how I wish I could see that in person. But again I remembered that I'm not the 'Dosan' in  the letter.

I always wishing that one day you would look at me with those eyes that full of love and care like how you see Nam Dosan, but instead, that day you look at me with regret and hate in your eyes. That makes me awake several nights, thinking where did I go wrong? I did everything for your sake. Then, there's the answer. The answer is me. I'm the one who deserves the hates and disappointment. So Dalmi, don't lie to people or you'll end up like me hahahaha

I write this to you, with hatred, anger also with peace. The peace that gives me, knowing there will no longer "us". Only the goodbye that we will not mention, my heart burns in words. I think of you and you go forever and that makes me happy that you no longer feel the pain every time you with me.

Dalmi,

Will you remember me? Maybe while you were walking at a park, a face that reminds you of our stories, the long letters of us talking nonsense, the paths are holding hands, like the two dead leaves floating in the wind. Will you remember me?

Ahh, how I wish I would be there for you in your hardest times or when you have the happiest day. Please don't get sick or work so hard to achieve your dreams. You are already great in everything you do. Don't think too much on something you didn't achieve.

Don't worry, do you remember? I want to be the first person that comes to mind when life gets tough.

Lastly, I wish you a life full of love, may you always be happy and take care of yourself.

From :

N̶a̶m̶ ̶D̶o̶s̶a̶n̶
Han Jipyeong

Dalmi stumbled hard on the floor and crying. Crying as hard as she can, letting out everything in her heart.

Speechless. Regrets. Anger. Sadness. All of that she feels inside.

A lot of 'Why' she's having inside her life right now that she questioning why she feel this way to Jipyeong then she realise that Jipyeong were always there for her, care for her and love her.

Even after 15 years, the words inside the letter still remain the same as the 'Dosan' she knew.

But there are no use for her to regret not choosing Jipyeong at the end. Jipyeong's no longer in the world. No longer there to write her those letters.

Seo Dalmi feels the biggest regret that she never felt.

"I never regretted my choice" that words she said to Jipyeong on the rooftop when she chose him as their mentor keeps echoing that makes she cry harder.

And that's all that left, regrets and losing.

—

The end.