As The Pages Burn

Chapter 20

Angela awoke in Lucas' arms, smiling as she inhaled his masculine scent. She rested her head against his smooth chest, listening to his rhythmic heartbeat. She could barely believe that it had already been two months since Roger's real death. She had been quite busy in the past two months, keeping herself as occupied as possible. She had had lunch every day with her father and a bond that had never been there before had started to form. She'd even gotten so far as to persuade her father to go to rehab and attend meetings, and he was in the best shape ever, she believed.

Lucas, however, was not doing so great. He'd been having nightmares every single night since it had happened and he wouldn't talk to her or see someone. He'd even lost a part in a movie because of it. She saw a change in him not long after the first night, watching him go from cheerful to morose, and from sober to intoxicated in two months. She had no idea how to approach him about the situation, fearing that he may blame her for putting him in a position where he had no other choice.

She saw his eyes flutter open and a smile that had lately been rare creep over his face. "Hey," he said, moving closer to her and kissing her lips softly.

"Hey yourself," she said, smiling sweetly. "How did you sleep?"

"Good, actually; for the first time in months, I feel good. And you?"

"Good, thanks. I'm glad to hear that, let's hope it stays that way."

Lucas nodded. "Yes, please."

"But seriously, as I've said many times before, you can and should talk to me. About anything that's bothering you."

Lucas sighed. "You really want to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Okay, then we'll talk. Ever since it happened, I haven't felt like myself anymore."

"I've noticed."

"I've felt like a killer, a bloodthirsty monster. And my mind keeps showing me these horrible images where I'm back there and it's happening all over again but instead of him, it's always someone important to me lying there dead on the floor."

Angela nodded. "I see, and how does that make you feel?"

"Like I want to do something so that I never turn into that kind of person. Like, stop myself permanently."

"Well, maybe you should stop seeing it as something you wanted to do, like revenge. Think of it as kill or be killed, survival instinct. You had to fight to survive. And it really was like that. I have no doubt that he'd have killed both you and me as well as my father if he'd had the opportunity."

"I guess I can try that, you make it sound so easy and I wish I could do that."

"Well, you have to, please, for your sanity as well as mine. Just try."

"I will, I promise," Lucas said as he pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair. "Let's go out tonight, I think we need to get out."

Angela looked up into his eyes, seeing a lot of mixed emotions in them. "Are you sure?"

Lucas smiled. "Yes, honey, I am. I have something I need to tell you anyway."

Angela frowned. "So why wait, then? Tell me now."

Lucas laughed. "And ruin the surprise? No, I don't think so."

Angela groaned. "You know I hate surprises, just tell me now and I'll still act surprised when you tell me tonight."

"No, young lady, you'll just have to wait until tonight. I will not be moved," he chuckled as he nuzzled her jaw.

Angela groaned playfully. "Alright, it better be a damn good surprise, then."

Lucas laughed. "Oh, trust me, you'll never even see it coming."

Angela coughed and groaned, sitting up. "Hold that thought," she said breathlessly as she dashed for the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Lucas crouched down behind her and held her hair back, softly rubbing her back.

"Honey, are you sick? You've been throwing up quite a lot lately."

Angela shook her head as she got up and flushed the toilet, then rinsed her mouth with water from the faucet. "I'm sure it's nothing, I probably drank too much last night. I don't feel particularly sick."

"Well, I still think you need to go and see a doctor. Take the day off work, boss' orders."

Angela smiled. "Really, Lucas, I'm fine."

"No, I insist," Lucas said, stroking her cheek gently.

Angela sighed. "There's no getting out of this, is there? Alright, I'll make an appointment with my doctor today."

Lucas sighed relieved. "Thank you, and please let me know what the doctor says."

Angela rolled her eyes, walking back to her bed. "Yes, mother, I will."

Lucas chuckled. "You little minx," he said as he picked her up and carried her to the bed, nipping at her neck while she giggled.

A little after noon, Angela nervously sat in the waiting room at Dr. Smith's office, waiting for her name to be called. She'd already been with the doctor, who after a very thorough examination, had asked her to wait while she ran a few blood tests. She wondered if she'd caught some kind of new virus that didn't have a treatment yet. She shrugged as her nerves began eating her up again, tapping her fingers on the armrest of her chair. She finally heard her name being called over the intercom and made her way back to the doctor's office with her stomach in knots and her heart pumping in her throat.

The doctor glanced up and motioned for her to close the door as she entered. "Miss Wilkes, I have good news and great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Angela sat down in the seat opposite the doctor and stared at her blankly for a few seconds. She cleared her throat. "Umm, I guess the good news?"

The doctor nodded. "The good news is you are not sick. In fact, you are surprisingly healthy given the year you've had. Are you ready for the great news?"

Angela nodded. "Sure, I guess."

The doctor smiled brightly. "You are going to be a mother!"