An Unorthodox Obsession

{Prologue}

{Prologue}

         "Just tell me if it hurts really bad and I'll stop, alright?" he breathes. It tastes of cinnamon buns and red bull.

        I nod and watch as a successful grin splits his face. He cocks his head forward and plants a quick kiss between my brows.

        I don't tell him that it hurts because it sort of doesn't.

        I silently let him ride me until he finishes and then I can finally slip from under his body and hope I don't care as much as I have convinced myself I don't. I shuffle to the head of his bed and quietly watch as he pulls on his briefs.

        I follow his lead and pull on my underwear.

        I notice that I haven't bled at all.

        He stretches himself across the firm mattress and meets my eyes. After a moment of scrutiny, he says, "You look like you regret it."

        And I think he's right; even as I try to convince him otherwise. I have known Jeffrey King for nearly three months. After tomorrow, I will never see him again.

        I just wanted to get it out of the way and I'm kind of relieved that I have. I’m not a virgin anymore; I don’t have to think about it; I don’t have to let it dominate my life the way I feel it has since puberty.

        I sense that I should be happier than I am.

        Instead, I begin over-thinking about losing my virginity to someone I have only known for a couple of months. This is when I truly begin to regret my decision.

        Jeffrey and I haven’t talked about not seeing each other again. We have both been dodging the topic and now, it’s staring us in the face. He must know that I won’t be the first to mention it because he speaks, “I guess we’ll never see each other again.”

        Rather than respond, I slide off his bed and begin collecting my clothes. I can’t meet his liquid-blue eyes if I tried and I’m not sure I will ever be in the mood for this conversation. “It shouldn’t matter to you,” I mutter in the midst of my haste.

        Just as I have pulled my t-shirt on over my head, he grabs my wrist and stands. He isn’t much taller than me but I find it almost impossible to meet his gaze. “Of course it matters to me, Alanah,” he whispers. He tries to use his other hand to force my chin up but I make a point of shaking out of his grasp and staring at his wall. He sighs and I sense him looking away as he finally drops my wrist.

        “This ‘fling’ of ours was clearly just that, so I honestly think it’s best if we go back to being friends once I leave,” I explain with forced affirmation as I finally look at him and attempt to ignore the confusion that is clear in his eyes. He is most likely wondering what caused the sudden rise in my defenses.

         Once I look at his face, I can't stop noticing him. His nose is on the large side and his lips are thin. When we kiss, I feel like I’m doing all of the work and when we talked about this day - this moment - not so long ago, he insisted on missionary.

        Jeffrey King obviously isn’t what some might classify as ‘hot’ and he isn’t experimentative. The only stand-out feature I can find in his arsenal is his addiction to pot; an addiction that he hasn’t realised is dominating his life as a Preacher’s son and worsening his already dire high school career.

        Jeffrey King is probably the least likely person I should have chosen to lose my worth to.

        I like to pretend that I don’t know the reason I chose Jeffrey King; I like to pretend it’s not because I feel like he's the best I can do.

        “I guess, I’ll inbox you tonight,” he responds resolutely. Jeffrey isn’t the kind of person to know when I want him to do more than just give up on me.

        I can only nod my head as I make for the door to his bedroom and ignore my racing mind as I think and think and think about how I just lost my virginity to Jeffrey King in his car-shaped bed with no one home but the security guard.

                                   ○♣○

I would love to hear your opinions, guys. So feel free to comment-vote-etc. :) I feel like I might actually enjoy writing this one... Also, I don't think my future chapters will be this graphic... Was it graphic? The more I read it, the graphic-er it gets...