Hannibal and Will just adopted their first child, a little orphan named Richie Tozier, after fleeing to Cuba to be together. Richie was a problem child, and the dads had a difficult time managing his 13 year old antics. Richie had this friend, he was a strange friend, he wasn't exactly human (to Hannibal's disgust), he had a beak similar to a bird, and feathers over his skin. His name was CL Hemsworth, Richie says it stood for Chris Liam Hemsworth but his dads could smell that he
was lying.
Chapter 1
Richie- Bye Dads! I'll see you later
Will- Woah woah woah where are you going young man?
Richie- To school, CL's picking me up.
Will- Okay, I expect you back by 3:30 on the dot, you know what Daddy will say.
Richie- Yes papá 😒
[The sound of his daddy Hannibal playing the theremin in the parlor dims as Richie walks out the door, the hot Cuban sunlight spilling through the large windows in the front of his house]
[Chicken Little pulls up in his lime green Kia Soul, his white feathers flow in the wind as he rolls the window down, his beak glistened in the hot Cuban sunlight, he tips his transition lenses.]
Chicken Little- Hey Rich! Your dad and his roommate eat you yet?
Richie- Shut up C! They don't do that anymore.... At least that's what they told me 🥺
Chicken Little- You heard about that new kid Edward? He just transferred here from Pigfarts.
Richie- Yeah I saw him in the halls a few days ago, he seems nice I guess... and cute.
Chicken Little- Haha shut up dude, you know those fairies aren't tolerated here.
Richie- Yeah man I'm just playing, gay people suck.
Chicken Little- My dad told me being a weirdo is good, he's a weirdo, have you ever seen him without that stupid hat on? That's weird. But being.... Gay? Too weird. Too weird for me and him.
Richie- Yeah uhh, my dad and his roommate say that too.
Chicken Little- wait...
Richie- [interrupting before he figures it out] WE'RE HERE!
[Chicken Little and Richie jump out of the Kia Soul and take a minute to bask up the warm Cuban sunlight.]
Chicken Little- Ah high school, the land of school and getting high.
Richie- That's right C.
[He checks his velcro watch, which glistened in the Cuban sunlight]
Oh shit! It's time for class!
Chicken Little- Who cares? YOLO😎
Richie- Yeah, let's skip first period and seek out all the hot senior babes.
[The boys start to walk towards the football field, where the cheerleaders were sweating due to the hot Cuban sunlight]
[They hear a small yet firm voice from behind them]
Eddie- Hey! Class starts in 1 minute! You boys are going to be late.
[Richie looked the boy up and down, his shorts were short, his shirt was pink and was loosely tucked around a black fanny pack, and in his little hand held an inhaler. His blue eyes sparkled in the hot Cuban sun, his skin kissed with a hundred freckles. His brown hair was smoothly combed in a side part, and he had a single upward curl at the bottom of his hair.]
Eddie- You guys really should stop skipping class, I've only been here for a week and I know that.
Chicken Little- Shut up you newbie. I know this campus like the back of my wing, and I know that you sir, are fresh meat.
Eddie- [Perturbed]I'm what?
Chicken Little- Fresh. Meat. And if you don't get your gay ass out of here, my pal here Rich's dad is going to eat you for dinner. Isn't that right Richie?
Richie- Yeah, um. He's like totally like a cannibal or like whatever.
Eddie- You're a big fat liar. My moms will totally rip you to shreds.
Chicken Little- MOMS? You hear that Rich, Eddie here's got women parents. Ick right?
Richie- Um, yeah.
[Richie's face slightly flushes and he begins to perspire.]
Eddie- Whatever, I'm going to class, before either of you get me killed, or worse, expelled.
[Chicken Little and Richie walk off]
Chicken Little- Freakin guy.
[Time jump- it is now lunch time, Chicken Little is in the bathroom. Eddie walks up to their table and sits across from Richie, the hot Cuban Sun peaking through the windows]
Eddie- I know you didn't mean what you said back there. I saw your dad's on the news last week, they eat people.
Richie- Ummmm, that's true 😔
Eddie- I knew it 🤯
Richie- Yhea, sorry about what CL said back there, he's not the most accepting.
Eddie- It's okay, kids have been telling me that since pre-K, having two moms and being gay isn't always easy. But when one of those moms can turn into a 7 foot tall warrior woman and the other is a cat, things usually end up okay on my end.
Richie- [Internal monologue, turns towards audience] Gay. That's a hard word for me to say. Eddie is gay, and that's okay. Maybe it's not okay? Maybe ChrisLiam Hemsworth is right. Maybe when I make jokes about gays I'm not laughing at them but, with them. No Richie. You're not gay, you've been all over chicks since the 3rd grade. I know it's okay. My dads had to fight and kill to be together. Literally. But me, I don't. I mean, if I was gay, which I'm not. It's just hard you know. Being a rebellious teen in Cuba with cannibalistic dads is a pretty hilarious set up right? Almost as hilarious as when I fucked your mom. No Rich, no jokes in the internal monologue. Gay, it's a weird fuckin word. It means happy, but not always. Papá is sad all the time, but Daddy makes him feel better with a nice warm meal. They have always been my definition of love. They've known each other forever. Daddy tells me the moment he saw Papa he was infatuated with him, his smell, his looks, his taste. Like love at first sight. Love at first sight. Is that what I'm feeling? Maybe not love but some feeling. I saw Eddie in the hall approximately 6 days ago. The moment my eyes hit him my heart swelled. My tongue felt itchy. And there was that feeling, the same feeling I have right now. There's no way to describe it except, warm. Warm like a fireplace, warm like laundry, warm like, the hot Cuban sun that's lighting up his face as he talks. God what am I fucking doing? Staring at this boy while he rants on about who knows what. Amazed at the way his tongue goes up and down while saying his L's. The way his little bunny nose twitches. The way he looks right at me, fully engaged in the conversation. Telling me about his life and his moms and his old friends back in Etheria. He says he had a boyfriend there, some kid named Kyle. My cheeks got red hot when he said that. Like I was-
Eddie- Jealous much?
Richie- [Snapped out of his daydream as the Cuban sun hits his face through the cafeteria windows]... Huh?
Eddie- As soon as I mentioned Kyle you became a total tomato.
Richie- Oh um...
Eddie- Richie, are you.....?
Richie- No. No. I know what you're going to say and the answer is no. Have I thought about it? Yes. But no, I'm not. Have I not stopped thinking about those red shorts you wore since last Wednesday? Maybe. But no, the answer is no.
Eddie- I was going to ask if you were going to finish your fries...
Richie- Oh
Eddie- Do you have something you need to say?
Richie- NO!
Eddie- Richie-
Richie- *runs away*
YOU ARE READING
The Day The Town Got Killed
FantasyHannibal and will just adopted their first child, a little orphan named Richie Tozier, after fleeing to Cuba to be together. Richie was a problem child, and the dads had a difficult time managing his 13 year old antics. Richie had this friend, he wa...
