TCW FebuWhump Prompts

Misunderstandings

Day 14 prompt: "I didn't mean it" 

IM BACK ON TRACK BB

Ahsoka didn't think she could feel even more ashamed than she already did.

She had led her men to their deaths because she wouldn't listen to Skyguy's orders. She had tried to prove herself, but all she proved was that she was reckless and didn't follow rules, and no master wanted that. The clones, all treated her lovingly, just the same before, but she knew that was just a front. She knew, that they were mad (maybe some of them hated her but she would accept it; after all, it was her fault) at her for killing their brothers, her vode. She was supposed to protect them and did the exact opposite, their lives extinguishing in the force, pain shooting at her.

She passed Jesse in the hallway and waved, a tentative smile on her face. He waved back and continued on his way.

Her smile fell as she walked past. To her, that grin looked like a grimace that tried to turn into a smile. It looked like it was forced up to deal with the annoying brat commander. It looked fake to her.

At the debriefing, she couldn't run out of the room, even with all the disappointment etched on the other masters' faces. All she wanted to do was hide in the vents and stay there, for nobody to find her until she was ready to go on with her life. She didn't meet Anakin's gaze either, knowing that his gaze would hurt her the most.

(She didn't know that he wasn't angry; he was trying his best to get her attention, worry obvious in his stance and features, but their bond had been closed shut.)

When the meeting was done, Ahsoka had been the first to leave, tears watered in her eyes. No one had to see her emotions; supposedly, the Jedi didn't have any.

(Anakin had tried to catch up to her, a hand reaching for her shoulder, but Obi-Wan pulled him back, shaking his head subtly.

"Not now," Kenobi whispered. If Anakin showed his emotional attachment to his padawan, who knows what would've happened.

"Yes, now!" Anakin hissed back. He couldn't leave her alone. Ahsoka, the sociable cheery togruta that always loved company whenever she could have it. Hell, this is why he moved most of her personal stuff to the Resolute so she could spend most of her time with the people she fought alongside with.

"Skywalker. We still have matters to discuss," Mace interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

Anakin sighed, knowing that he couldn't run after his sister. He vowed to check up on her later.)

Her feet led her to her room and she punched in the code a little harder than necessary. She flicked on the lights and stared at the ceiling, a million thoughts runninng in her head. She rolled over onto her side, and eyed the holopic on her table. She had so many pictures from past moments, and now, some of the people in the projection were gone, and some of them died because of her.

She says that they're not expendable and their lives mattered, but with the pressure put on her, their lives were thrown away, all because of her.

Because of her.

The phrase repeated itself in her head, spiraling out of control. She shook her head fiercely, willing the voice to go away. It didn't.

She got up, looking at herself in the mirror, and headed towards Anakin's room, forming an apology in her head.

She stopped at his open door and was about to walk in until she heard talking.

"...Obi-Wan, I can't believe I gave her the whole squadron! She's not ready for it!" Anakin's back was turned, facing a small device, and there was Obi-Wan's blue figure. None of them noticed her, and she stayed in her position, her feet rooted to the floor. Her eyes widened at Anakin's statement.