Staring into the Brink: A Collection of Abysmal Tales

My Collection

 Has it ever occurred to you how unique human beings are? All of us are so layered, specifically when it comes to interests. The way that I see it, most people have four main interests: you have your work interests, you platonic interests, your romantic interests, and your personal interests. All of these can be significantly different, especially your personal interests, better known as your hobbies. No matter how many hobbies you have, there is always one that stands out, that occupies more space in your mind than the others; an interest that could be considered an obsession. For myself, my obsession is my collection.

My collection means everything to me, it keeps my mind active and gives me something to eternally strive for. What is it of, you may ask yourself? Well, it's a collection of merchandise and promotional material for a movie that came out when I was a kid. It wasn't the most popular movie made, but it means the world to me. From the moment the title card flashed on the screen, I knew that this movie was made for me. As soon as the movie was finished, I ran out of the theatre and immediately bought another ticket. I was only thirteen at the time, and for the month that it was at the local theatre, I saw it forty times. I know, it might sound excessive, but it was one of the happiest times of my life, and I shared it with my parents and my friends. They thought it was good, but they couldn't see the genius that I saw.

The first pieces of my collection came during one of the saddest moments of my life, the day it was removed from theatres. I arrived on a Friday night, ready for a great time, but my heart broke when I didn't see the movie poster on the "Now Playing" section of the wall. I didn't know what to do, and in my juvenile desperation, I begged the Ticker Seller to let me see the movie, but the teenager behind the counter just laughed at me.

Defeated, I started to drag me feet out of the cinema, until I was stopped by the manager. I had seen her many times through the years, especially in the last month. This kind, sweet, angel of a woman saw how sad I was and offered me two gifts that to this day, are the best presents I have ever received: the movie poster and the movie's standee. I held them in my hands as gingerly as I could, and I couldn't help but weep with joy. I excitedly went home and put them in my room, and within a week, I had a frame for my poster, to keep it safe.

This was the start of my collection, and I was over the moon. But this feeling soon faded as I realized that even thought I had these amazing possessions; I still was unable to watch this incredible film. I had sunk into a depression, the first time in my life that I had experienced this, but not the last. I was miserable for months, until one day I saw the VHS copy of the film in a department store I went to with my mom. My depression lifted like the fog after a storm and I bought myself two copies; one to watch, and one to preserve. My mom was quite happy too, for this was the first time I had smiled in months.

Now, while I realize this is an obsession, you need to know that even though my happiness became tied to this movie, I did have other interests. I played baseball throughout my teens, I had friends, went on dates, etc. I lived a normal life, but I just was comforted by my collection in a way that couldn't be done with anything else. As much as I would have liked to, I didn't watch the film every day; I had my chores to do, homework to complete and practices to make. A movie as amazing as this one didn't deserve to be paused, so I only ever watched it when I knew that I would have the full, uninterrupted time to watch it. This also helped preserve the tape, because even back then, I knew that if I watched the VHS constantly, it would wear out. I had prepared for that though, and eventually bought myself a back up copy.

It wasn't until I was about sixteen that I realized that not only was there not a single soul who was as dedicated to this movie as I was, but the movie wasn't even considered a success! How absurd is that? When I found this out, I researched the movie on one of my school's computers; we didn't have one at home yet. To my chagrin, it indeed was true. The movie did so poorly, that the director quit the film business and became an auto mechanic. I sank down into another depression at this, one that I didn't think I would ever be able to surface from. I distanced myself from friends and family. This lasted until I went to the mall with my friends one day when a new store moved in.