I decided I was kind enough to share my pathetic life with you. It's actually sort of a funny story. You know, kind of like how a brick is funny. I'm not going to say how old I am, as that could cause complications but I'm older than 13 and younger than 30. I hope that's good enough for my nonexisistent readers. I've got brown hair and green eyes and I'm often told I look like Harry Potter. How this is possible, I don't know. It's rather ironic, Becuase my fathers nickname is Voldemort. How ironic. When I say that, I mean it in the worst possible way. If Voldemort wasn't really a book character, I'm his kid. I'm not allowed to have chocolate icecream because it's immoral. Can someone explain that to me? I can't wear jeans, they suggest rebellion. So I wear khakis and eat vanilla icecream. Sigh. Anyone else know how I feel? And I know, it seems like all I'm doing is complaining and going on about crap you don't give a crap about, but.. Whatever, stop reading if you don't care. The reason I started this is because I don't have friends to talk to. Well, I used to. I know, it's sad. So anyway. I'm not going to tell you about all the crap I did when I was three in this story, because frankly, I was a pretty boring three year old. You know those puzzles, where you have to figure out what doesn't belong? You have an apple, a banana and an orange, and then like a zebra or a hammer or something. I feel like the zebra. Or maybe the dummy who put a zebra in the same boat as an apple. Every kid my age already knows what they want to be when they grow up. A doctor. A cook. A fireman. A model. Yada yada. And I'm the tard who wants to be a comedian. I discovered I wasn't the next Jeff Duham. My dummy wasn't very good, it said everything I said. I should've told my sister I was done playing copycat years ago. See not very good. So I decided on being an astronaut. But, being an astronaut is immoral. Huh. So I'll be an astronaut-comedian. I'll make space jokes. So you ask why I'm telling you this? I am because.. I have no reason; but it makes me feel like the zebra. Anyone else know what I mean? Remember that time when you're waiting to find out if you got a good grade on that test or not? Or when you're sitting in a dark theater and watching a show and you get the tingles on your arm? Well forget those feelings for a sec, forget those feelings and you'll never feel like a zebra. Have you ever been in love? You know, that feeling when you feel like you'd just die if you don't see your SO for less than 23 hours a day? Or where you feel complete? Or where you're in such a lust, you can't be anywhere else but heaven? I feel like that sometimes. All the dang time. Let's call him Bruce. And this is the part you're all dreading, so I'll be kind and tell you later.
Signed, the Zebra. The world is ugly. See you soon.
