Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles Imagines

Dean ~Dont leave me~

Warning if you are not comfortable with self-harm or mention of suicide I would suggest moving onto the next chapter.
If you ever feel this way please talk to a person that is close to you or go to the doctor. Or call the suicide hotline. And remember you are loved and don't let them inner demons hurt you.

The pain was all I felt right now as I'm sitting in the back seat of the impala heading to the bunker. Dean would give me angry glances every couple of minutes, knowing damn well I fucked up on this hunt. The hunt that we just got done with was a mistake, Sam had taken the strong nasty bite from me and Dean was pissed off at me because I would've gotten Sam killed, although it was just a vamp that never got its blood. Sam could tell the heavy tension that filled the car.

"Dean, I'm sorry that..."
"Sorry about what y/n, getting sam almost killed by Mr fangs or you failing on being a hunter?!"
"Dude relax just leave her alone she's new at this."
"Relax! Sam when did we ever have to relax when she's out there in every hunt trying to get herself killed. Sam, she's a liability that has no clue what she's doing!"
After Dean's little outburst, all of us went quiet as he pulled up to the bunker's garage.

Dean was the first one to exit the car leaving me and Sam in there.
"You know he didn't mean it right?"
"Yeah right, Sam. He's been a jerk to me since you brought me here into the bunker and don't get me wrong Sam but I love this place but not with your brother."
"I know y/n, I know. But tell you what."
Sam turned around in his seat and looked at me.
"If he bothers you ever again, ill beat him." He chuckled.
"Thanks Sammy."
"Anything for you y/n"

Sam got out of the car and headed inside as soon after him I followed him in. I walked over to the kitchen to see Dean brooding God knows what so I went over to the fridge and got out a beer.
"Yeah know y/n. I should've never ever agreed to bring you here in the first place but no I had to see my baby brother give me his puppy dog eyes."
His words stung me as I walked passed him but I felt him grasp onto my wrist.
"Dean let go." I whimpered
"No. Your worthless to me and Sam you be ashamed of yourself of even asking him."
"But it was his idea Dean."
"Yeah right."
"Dean me and him met up and went on a hunt together."
"Yeah and let me guess you got yourself hurt."

"No Dean, I was the one who saved his ass. He was the one who was tied up to the wall so you should thank me."
"Thank you for what! All you do is get me and Sam in danger as you stand there frozen not knowing what to do."
"Well..."
"Well what y/n? Your worthless and your not ment to me here."
Dean's grasp around my wrist let go so I ran to my room tears streaming down my face.

I went i to my room and slammed the door shut and started to pace the floor fighting my inner thoughts.
"Your worthless y/n! They both hate you."
"No stop." I whispered yelled.
"Why should I, Dean hates you hell he wants you dead."
That was the last thing my thoughts said as I carried myself to the bathroom and turned on the faucet. I pulled out my knife and started to cut into my wrists.
"SAM!" I yelled before collapsing.

I could vaguely hear Sam running into my room.
"Y/n, what the hell! DEAN HELP ME!"
"Sam, I'm sorry " I whispered.
"Why y/n?"
"Because Dean wants me gone so i decided that it was time for me to leave."
"Hey, don't say that y/n."
"Why?"
"Because he loves you."
"Sam whats wrong?" Dean said as he came strolling
"

Dean call Cass now!"
"Why, oh..oh my God y/n"

I felt Sam putting pressure onto my wrists as Dean was yelling for Castiel.
"Dean." I said hoarsely
He came over and knelt down next to me.
"What is it y/n?"
"I'm-I'm sorry, I'm not a good enough hunter for you."
"Hey don't say that sweetheart."
"Why should I."
I heard Castiel's wings flutter into the bathroom.
"Thank god your here Cas!"
"Sorry it took me awhile heaven was busy."

"Please heal her" Dean pleaded with the angel.
I felt two cold fingers touch my forehead as I felt Cas healing me before passing out.

Sams Pov
After Dean placed y/n on the bed I went to the kitchen and got out a beer.
"Why did she do that Sam?" I heard my brother ask.
"I dunno Dean why don't you ask yourself because since I brought her here to the bunker you've been a real ass to her."
"Like today she was scared shitless of you and yet you like her!"
"Well I was just."
"Just what Dean she almost died! I know in the inside you would die for her but after today I don't even know if she's ready to talk to you."

"But why would she want to kill herself?"
"Because she's hurting on the inside Dean. When I first met her, she told me about her depression and just lately you've been nudging at that thin line."
"Jesus christ why didn't you tell me!"
"Because she lost her trust in you a long time ago!" I yelled.
"Hell she cares so much about you she'll do anything for you because she loves you, not as a friend or brother but as a crush. But you gave away her last hope Dean."

I saw him staring intently at the ground thinking of what to say next, but that was soon interrupted by Castiel fluttering in.
"How is she?"
"Shes fine psychically but mentality no. Sam is she on any anti depressants?"
"Yeah, I think so why?"
"She needs to go back on them to keep herself sane."
"God Damnit this is all my fault for her almost killing herself. Why am I such an ass!"
Dean stormed off to his room taking a bottle of whiskey with him.

Your pov
The next morning when I woke up I got up and noticed that my wrists were perfectly fine as there were no scars left behind. I headed off to the kitchen where I saw Sam and Cas chatting away while there was no signs of Dean.
"Morning guys."
"Y/n" Sam said as he made his way over to me and hugged me.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like a million bucks."
Sam chuckled as he went back over to his seat to research, while I made me a vanilla protein shake.
"Wheres Dean?"
"Drinking away the pain."
"Why?"
"Because I told him the shit that you go through."

"God damnit Sam!"
I ran down the hallway and towards his room.
When I arrived I didn't even bother to knock so I just bardged right into his room.
"Y/n what are you...."
I ran over to him and cut him off with a soft kiss. I placed my hands on his cheeks to deepen the kiss. I felt him grasp onto my waist pulling me down so that I was straddling his hips.
We broke away looking at each other as if it was the last time.

"I'm sorry Dean "
"Why didn't you tell me about your mental health."
"Because then I would feel weak on the inside"
"Your not. I'm sorry y/n for everything"
"Its ok Dean."
"Please don't do that again."
"I wont."