The shitty shit one person has to deal with

Death and its ugly mistress

Picture a little girl, light as a feather, that is so fragile you're afraid you will break her with one touch. Now, picture love, not the boy meets girl kind, but the kind that can only exist when you feel like you can tell this person anything and you're just you, comfortable like a warm never-ending hug. This is the kind of bond this girl had with her father, until he died. She was about seven or eight and was not suspecting it then. Looking back on it, though, there were signs: frantic calls, whispers of cancer, him not going outside as much, more and more time spent apart. It hit her like a wave crashing and breaking against a brick wall. She stood on her tiptoes looking at his lifeless body it was like he was sleeping peacefully. She placed a bouquet of bold purple flowers on his chest. She swears she sees his chest moving up and down. She walks away saying in her mind "he died, he's dead now, he's dead". Then she snaps back to reality as she sees her uncle crying so much that it looks like he put pink blush all over his face. Phased by the sight of her uncle but not wanting to show it, she heads for the single bathroom and locks the door.  Alice stayed in the bathroom for what seemed like hours until someone knocked. Then she kindly let them go about their business and preceded to her own. As she was scanning the adults, looking for uncle, she made sure to not make eye contact.

She never did find her uncle that night, and the past few weeks blurred together. She forgot about dates and times because she didn't need them anymore. That's what her mother was for. Her mother told her when to go to school, eat, play, do homework. She was surprised her mother didn't start telling her when to use the bathroom. Alice, for weeks, wished for her father back. She even prayed to God but got no answer. She finally believed that he couldn't come back to her, but she could go to him. That's the day Alice chose to die. She stayed up all night trying to think of how to kill herself, but no plan seemed that it would definitely work. Alice doesn't do anything half assed, and she knows that she will only get one shot. She knows her mother would never let her out of her sight if she knew. Alice knew she wanted to die quickly and painlessly, but she couldn't find a way. Finally, she just tried it all, and when one plan failed, she moved on to the next. After two weeks of trying, in her frustration of her failure she slipped up to her mom. Her mom went crazy and screamed at her all night until her mom said let's go for a ride. Alice, thinking there'd be nothing to it, got in for the ride. They showed up at the hospital. Alice, confused, listened to her mother's silence.

When the doctor got in the room, Alice's mother jumped up with enthusiasm to tell the doctor that Alice had tried kill herself. The doctor just stood there; maybe he was confused or didn't hear, either way Alice's mom had no problem creating a story and repeating herself as she guided him into the hall. Alice spent the night listening to a woman scream bloody murder. When she woke up, she had cuffs around her wrists made of foam, and a breakfast that smelled like old people. The food was inches from her face, and it made her want to puke, but the cuffs prevented her from moving the tray away. Defeated, Alice took in her surroundings. After staring at the white brick wall trying to command the wall to change, Alice felt tired and decided to rest her eyes. No sooner had she closed her eyes, did her mother came barging in. She was in one of her moods from what Alice could hear. Alice decided to pretend to sleep and listen into her mother's conversation. From what she could gather, her mom was really talking shit on someone. Then she realized her mother was talking about her.

A nurse walked in cheerfully and said good morning as a general statement. Alice pretends to just be waking up as her mother quickly hangs up the phone and goes to Alice's bedside and asks Alice in a concerning matter "Why have you not eaten anything?" Alice is over with the bullshit already but can't help but smile, I mean how can this get worse. Suddenly Alice snaps back to attention and realize her mother walking the nurse out. She thinks to herself about how the hell is her mom so manipulate yet she can't even lie or hide her emotions. She then directs her attention to the door where the nurse is standing in view of with her mother, Alice let out a huff and thinks oh great what my mother lying about now.
The day blurs past Alice she doesn't rejoin earth until she hears elevator music. Which gets Alice thinking why everyone hates it so much it so catchy. They arrive to a floor and the nurse quickly says "Oops, I forgot we were going to the kids ward. Alice laughs in her head and thinks yeah right you know you forgot I was getting competed not my mother.

They final arrive to the correct floor and after going through a maze of never-ending locked doors the nurse unlocks the last door to the hall that keeps the crazy kids. It literally is a hallway of rooms most with two beds and of course everything is white. Oh, great Alice thinks this is just like they make it out to be on t.v. Also, they wonder why these kids are crazy anyone would be after only staring at white everywhere. The nurse exchanges word with another nurse who at a desk that you have to get in threw a locked door.

Alice wakes up and thinks where am I she quickly notes she not at home and goes outside of the room and down the hall. She first thinks she in a game room but then she sees a kitchen and the first thing she sees is pop tarts.

To be continued