Kidnapped

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MC: Cool. Cave river.

K2: What? Why aren’t you scared?

K1: You are literally facing your death. You won’t survive the fall.

MC: Sure ‘bout that? Bye, bitches.

~MC: A’ight, Imma pause right there. I just jumped off a ledge 70-ish feet above a river. If you’re wondering how I got there, Imma tell you a story.

~MC: I was walking down the street from school when I heard yelling. I cautiously looked around the building, and in the alley way, I saw that someone had what I guessed was a broken leg. I called for an ambulance then ran over to the person to help any way I could. After they calmed down, they suddenly went wide-eyed.

K1: Ya’ played ya’ self.

~MC: As soon as I turned around, everything went black…

~Time Skip~

~MC: Eventually, I woke up on a couch with my head throbbing in a dark room.

MC: Oh, that’s nice. Thanks for hitting me, asshole. Where the hell am I?

*vase breaks*

K2: *whisper yells* Dammit! Be quiet!

K1: *whisper yells* Shut up! She’s awake!

MC: Both of you, shut the hell up before you die by pillow. Because of you, my head hurts.

K1 + K2: *silence*

MC: Thank you.

K1: Do you have any idea what you're in for, lady?

MC: Yeah. These ropes. *Maximum smugness*

K2: We’re literally going to torture you and then throw your body off of a cliff.

MC: Oh please do. I hate my life and you just emphasized that by FUCKING kidnapping me.

K2: Do you HAVE TO BE so annoying?!

MC: Yes (you can practically hear the smirk behind the mic)

K1: Alright enough of this! Just..hand me the crowbar.

~MC: cRack! There’s one kneecap I don’t need anymore.

K1: How’d tha-

MC: Ow! You actual lunatic! A crowbar?! Seriously?!

K1: Can you SHUT UP?! We didn’t bring you here to get our methods of torture critiqued!

MC: Sorry. I figured you could use some more creative input!

K2: Please let me get one in, too.

K1: All yours.

~MC: And then..my bunny rabbit hops into the room.

MC: *gasp* Cookie Dough! What are you doing here?!

K2: Shut up or I shoot the damn thing.

K1: I’d say we should just cut to the cliff’s edge part of this.

~MC: So that’s how I ended up here staring into a dizzying abyss that can honestly rival the Grand Canyon. Still tied up with my mouth now Duct taped, which is honestly just rude.

K1: Look at that! All that sarcasm got you a look at what I’d say is an amazing view, and me the rope that your life is now relying on. Any last words?

MC: *muffled insults from reddit*

K2: Oh just toss her down already.

K1: Fine-fine.

~MC: Then the bastard let go of the rope that was tied to the chair I was bound in. And I went flying straight down. Down towards a rocky and probably fitting death. “Welp. Life was fun.” I thought. And then I realized that my chair broke my fall into the water. My velocity was just enough to break the chair on a rock. I can almost hear Crowley saying “why aren’t you dead yet?”. I still can’t move my arms, simply ‘cause they’re still bound behind my back. Yay. Ooh! It gets better. I’m running out of air. Luckily, I float.

MC: *gasp*

~MC: As soon I reached the surface, I did what I could to swim to the river bank. Eventually, I made it, coughing and gasping for air. Then, I kinda just flopped on my side.

MC: Good god, I’m not dead.

~MC: Apparently, the rope came loose while I swam, but now my wrists burn. I go to stand up, but fall back down in pain.

MC: Mother-! *groan*

~MC: I forgot they snapped my kneecap. I start crawling back to the water, it’s the safest and least painful way of traveling. If they see me, they’ll think I died on impact. It also puts less strain on my leg. 

~MC: A few minutes later, I decide it’s best to float from rock to rock so as to not be swept away. Soon enough, I hear the faint noise of birds chirping. Of course, something stops me. A rock pile is blocking the exit. There’s no way around it. I have to dig through.

~MC: My arms are hella sore. My hands may or may not be bleeding. A little bit later, I can finally see the light of day! I start digging faster. My hard work is rewarded when the rock wall falls. I swim as fast as I can. I never thought I would get so sick of water. As soon as I reach solid ground, I’m yanked up by my hair. They were here.

K1 + K2: Miss us?