The Tragedy of Arien and The Kennyjackulations-The Threesome of All Time

The Throne Room

INTERVIEW SEGMENT—ELF PERCIVAL
"You seriously revived me from the dead to talk about THIS? Fine, I guess I'll say what I have to say. I find it fascinating how Arien's life completely fell apart after he crushed me with his ICP printed clown shoe.
From what I know, what Jack did was a mistake. A complete misfire. If Arien had known what he was getting into, he would have never even looked at those boys. He would have never written that poem, and he would have never murdered me. Jack was never a horrible person. He just can't aim."
..........
"Now pass me a cigarette. We're going to be here for awhile."

***

The throne room was absolutely gorgeous.
It was probably the most beautiful thing that Arien had ever seen in his many years. It branched off of the main lunchroom and was entirely made out of pure gold and lapis. Pillars hugged the walls and there were two brilliant thrones at the end of this glorious hall. So glorious that Arien almost jizzed himself. Maybe he did a couple times. He knew The Kennyjackulations were hot shit, but he would never have expected them to be hot enough to own a private lunchroom that's worth millions.
Kenny leapt down the hall and bouréed up the steps, which were coated in velvet, and pointed at Jack's throne with a whipping sound effect. "Since you're a new member in our delicious love orgy, we haven't really made you a throne yet. You can have Jack's for today!"
Arien wet his pants once more. But not wet it if you know what I mean. He came it. He came his pants?? Creamed? Yeah. Let me restart.
Arien creamed his pants once more. The sweat was beginning to return, despite how cold the pure gold floors felt on his bare feet. Where did his ICP shoes go?
"Really...?!" He stuttered, dropping down to his knees and crawling up the steps on all fours. He started hyperventilating and stuck his tongue out like a dog. It took Kenny a few seconds to realize that he was dry-heaving. "Yes my love! And quit that breathing. You're going to fog up my floor."
"Our floo-" Kenny slapped Arien smack dab in the face with his hairy foot before he could finish.
"No," he said snidely, "not yet. You haven't been here long enough."
Arien opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Kenny spotted one of their peers, Randy, exploring the front of the shimmery hallway, as if he'd never seen it before. Yeah right.
"HEY!!!!!!" Kenny boomed, his pupils flattening like a goat's. He bent over backwards and started to crawl towards Randy like a spider, reciting lines from Stephen King's It. Randy, terrified, stayed in one place.
Arien watched in horror at first, but couldnt care less about the fate of his classmate once he remembered where he was. After standing up and admiring the room once more, he took a seat in Jack's throne, only then coming to the realization that his shoes were missing. Before he could truly digest it, his thoughts were invaded.
"Looking for these?"
Arien flinched, not expecting another voice to be present. His head snapped to the right of him. It was Jack, sitting in Kenny's throne, holding one of Arien's freakishly massive ICP shoes with one finger.
"Hey, that's mine! Without them, I can't be tracked down on the street and noticed by my favorite ba—" Arien stammered, only to be interrupted.
"You can have them back if you promise to listen to me for a second. I hired Randy to come within Kenny's line of sight, so we should have some time."
Arien's expression softened. Jack's did the exact opposite. "Yeah, okay. That sounds easy."
"Alright." He raised his eyebrows, but kept his ominous demeanor. "Look, kid, I'm not here to play games. I have been in this for too long. You're not gonna get between us that easily."
Arien's concentrated gaze became puzzled. "What? I don't know what you're talking about."
Jack chucked the shoe onto the ground, the sound echoing so loudly that Arien had to cover his ears. "Are you stupid? The Kennyjackulations, you fool!" Jack pointed a stern finger at Arby's face. It was bent like E.T.'s, and made a loud cracking sound when he unfolded it from the palm of his hand. It was so rickety that dust flew off of it. "You can't just saunter up to us one day in a sweaty, cummy, giant shoe-y mess! You can't come up one day and steal his heart away! It's not fair!" Jack rose from the throne, on the verge of tears.
"Wait, can you repeat that?" Arien was too busy watching Kenny chase Randy out of the throne room from afar. He seriously can't run that fast when he's bent over.
"Ugh!" Jack scoffed, standing in front of his, temporarily Arien's, throne, blocking him off so that he couldn't escape. Arien sunk in his chair. "You want to play dumb with me? I'll show you what's dumb." Jack pulled Arien's other shoe straight out of his ass, echoing farts and all, slapping him across the face with it. "THIS is dumb." He slapped him again. "YOU are dumb. YOU are dumb for even THINKING about coming here and raining on my parade." Arien grimaced, plugging his nose. "It was really impressive how you managed to fit that up your ass, but god damn! That's shit from a butt!" Jack was furious now; smoke was practically shooting out of his nose. "This was everything to me. It still IS. You're lucky Kenny hasn't gotten attached to you yet, because lord knows what he would do if he found out what I've done to you." Jack raised his arm further back for another slap, but Kenny had returned, and was horribly disappointed at what he saw.
"Are you kidding me?!" Kenny pranced up to the thrones, his hands glued to his hips, which were swinging obnoxiously from side to side.
Jack stood up straight, dropping Arien's poop shoe to the ground. "Honeycake booby bubby baby pie! It's not what it looks like, I swear..." Jack held his breath. In the background, Arien scurried off to retrieve his shoes.
"Good. You guys CANNOT start orgies without me here. That's the Emerald Rule—everybody has to be included."
Jack was stunned. "Oh. Yeah, the orgy. We would never do that without you." They called it the 'Emerald Rule' because Kenny hates gold. He decided this after he had spent three weeks negotiating with school staff to allow him to extend the lunchroom to make room for his golden paradise.
Kenny let out a little fart of relief. "Perfect. I knew it." He crouched down and shot himself forward at Arien, tackling him like a rabid cat torpedo. Arien shrieked but also came in his pants again. I forgot to mention that every time he gets touched by Kenny, he jizzes himself. It's a rare disorder called Kennyjackulatory Syndrome. Kind of sounds familiar.
"What was that for?!" Arien voice-cracked, beginning to sob into Kenny's spaghetti sauce-stained shirt. He also has a disorder that makes him start sobbing every time he says 'what was that for?!' with a specific kind of diction. It's called Whatwasthatforhydrosis Syndrome.
"The bell rung, silly! Didn't you hear it?" Kenny lifted Arien up like a child and started warrior running out of the golden room, leaving Jack in a daze.
"*Murders plays* I'll get you next time, Arien...just you wait...*Nikocado laugh*"
Jack slowly trots down the hall, laughing as he goes. He seriously is trotting like a horse in slow motion. His calves must be on fire. It's kind of impressive though. Jack can do a lot of impressive things, like fit shoes up his ass and trot as if he's in an anime edit. Maybe he was the guy in the chair video. Anyways, to be continued. What was Jack going to do to Arien? What what specific It quotes was Kenny reciting? The world may never know. Well, I guess we'll know one of those things, but that's a spoiler. Get out.
Sorry this chapter sucks. It's the serious chapter. The next chapters will return to their scheduled bullshit.