Where's the Light at the End of the Tunnel

~ Chapter One ~

Failure

Villain

Dumbass

Worthless

Waste of space

Waste of time

Useless

All those and more cycled through my head on the daily. Why? Hell if I know. All I know is that they’re there and that I believe them. My attitude hides the fact I’m dying inside. If I’m seen as weak, I’ll never even have a chance as the number one hero, and Deku will automatically get it. I’m not letting the damn nerd have it so easily, even if it's already practically set in stone that the spot is his. 

Instead of letting myself drown in the thoughts this morning anymore, I got dressed and ready for school. Threw on my uniform, grabbed my bag, and headed to the dorm’s common room to meet up with everyone else before we walked to class just to be there barely on time. 

As I got to the ground floor, I realized I was the last one down. Not unusual. I walked over to the rest of the self-proclaimed “BakuSquad” that were talking on the couch. I sat next to Shitty hair. 

“-And that is why Kaminari stands a chance at number one hero.” Shitty hair finished up.

“Pikachu? Number one? Ha! As if. Dunce face could never beat me, or deku for that matter.” I said as I heard what was said. The fact I said he couldn't even beat Deku, the one I've said my entire life could never amount to anything, put a saddened look on his face.

“Well good morning to you too,” Mina said. I rolled my eyes.

“How could he. Give me a reason.” I humored the thought.

“Well, have you seen the amount of electricity he can put off?”

“Have you seen the way he short circuits? He wouldn’t last. You can't just look at the output, you have to look at recoil too, shitty hair.”

“I...I know but -”

“Doesn’t matter. Let's get going before Aizawa marks us late.” I was first to start walking towards the large doors that were the entrance of the dorm house. I thought they were a bit extravagant for what they were for, but, U.A. is one of the best schools out there so it doesn’t surprise me. 

It doesn’t take me long to realize that no one was following me to the classroom. Oh well. They’re probably upset with me. Was I too harsh on Dunce face? 

Idiot, of course you were. They have every right to be pissed at you, you fucking jackass.

I sat down in my seat in Mr.Aizawa’s room, the second one here, right after Iida. Mr. Speed boost over there is always like, fifteen minutes early. I don’t get it, how can someone preoccupy themself for that long?

"Bakugo, nice to see you decently early for once!" He waved his arm in my face. 

"Shut up, four eyes." I sighed. I don't get his little arm chop thing. It makes zero sense. This extra is trying extra hard to stand the fuck out, lemme tell ya. 

Why don't you shut up, you moron. 

I softly sighed again, this time at my own thoughts. No matter what I do, or what I say, the little voices that resonate in my head always have some snarky, abusive, depressing remark to say back to me. 

I sat at my desk in silence, fighting with the voices in my head, as the rest of class 1-A trickled in. Some went straight to their desks, others gathered around and talked as we awaited Mr. Aizawa to come in. 

"Good morning problem children. First up this morning, as usual, announcements." Mr.Aizawa started. I never find these morning announcements important. 

"Firstly, During training today we will be working on combat without using your quirks. So prepare for that. Lastly, I'm passing back your math tests from last week. Most of you did extraordinarily well. The few of you who have your test graded written in purple ink, come see me after class." He began passing out the tests. I wasn't nervous, I usually did very well on exams. I may not look or act as if I care about my grades, but I do. 

As I'd expected, a 98% written in red ink next to my name. I only missed one question. 

Missing one question, pff, I bet you missed an easy one too, you idiot.

The voice that lived in my head rang out. I looked through my test to see what I'd missed. It was indeed an easy one. It was one just trying to find the degrees of angles. And it was a right triangle. So it was extremely easy. Why am I such a moron? 

After tests were passed out, we went straight into our English lesson. Today was a review day for our upcoming test. It was all vocabulary words. My least favorite of the English tests. We're in Japan, why should we have to learn English? 

I sat there, copying words and definitions into my notebook. It was mostly words we'd never use to talk to any tourist that we may come across. Words like Execute, Frost, and for some reason Aizawa wanted us to have Strawberry as a vocabulary word. 

I eventually got bored and pulled out my phone and slipped in some earbuds to listen to music. I was listening to Forever Fifteen by Mothica. I may have had my music up a bit too loud because round face was looking at me almost as if she was confused. 

"What the hell are you looking at, round face?" I turned around slightly. 

"O-oh! Nothing...just...I didn't expect you to listen to that kind of music." 

"Tsk." I rolled my eyes and turned back around. 

You really want attention, hm.

Shut the hell up. 

Oh come on, you know you're attention-seeking. 

I will hurt you.

Oh really? Bet. 

I fought with the voices in my head. I raised my hand and asked to use the restroom, which I was granted permission to do. 

I locked the stall and tore apart my phone case, revealing a dull, old blade that I had hidden. 

You really think I won't do it? 
I screamed to the voices in my head. It felt as if they were just watching and waiting, no reply, so remark. As if they were instigating me. 

I held the blade above my wrist for a moment, just hovering it. I was slightly trying to hold back and hope that just hovering would be enough to satisfy the urge. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't. 

I cut once, barely hard enough to break the skin because I don't have any bandages on me. It wasn't enough. I did that a few more times on each arm. When my arms were almost fully red from scratches, that's when I stopped. 

What? No blood? Ha, can't even bring yourself to cut in fully. 

I rolled my eyes at myself. I hid the blade away in its spot and headed back to class where everyone was still working on their vocab. I just put my music on and zoned out for the rest of the period.

Word Count; 1195