Stuck In The 70's

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝟣𝟤

                                                                 𝐔𝐇-𝐎𝐇

darkness

Those few moments of darkness felt like an eternity to him. He couldn't breathe. Slowly the darkness mellowed out and he took a deep calming breath. His body shivered as a gentle cool breeze blew against him.

Lucas came back to his senses. His eyelids felt heavy. He attempted to open them succeeding after a while. He opened his eyes and looked around. The first thing he saw with his impaired vision were silhouettes Ramone and Sienna. He got up and wobbled over to them and shook the first person,

"Five more minutes mommy!" Sienna mumbled half asleep, "I am not mommy get up!" He shook her harder and she woke up with a start, "Ouch ouch my head h-Oh hey where are we?" She said confused, "I don't know," He helped her to her feet and Lucas looked behind them. A one-story rectangular-shaped stone dwelling with thick wall stood there.

Sienna shook Ramone awake and then helped him to his feet, "Uhh guys, we got a situation..." Ramone said in as low of a tone as he said. Both Lucas and Sienna turned around to see that they were attracting a crowd.

"Whither didst thee cometh from?" A person from the crowd spoke up, "Oh fuck we're in the sixteenth century...." Lucas sighed,

"I bethink they art hags I bid thee," Another person yelled from the crowd,

"BURN THE HAGS!" Yelled a person and they all pulled out pitchforks and lit torches, "And that's our CUE TO GET DA FUCK OUTTA HERE!" Sienna yelled, "HOW DO THESE WATCHES WORK?"

Lucas started smacking his watch, "Work..work...work...THERE WE GO!" He twisted the dial A man sat on a bench, hunched over a piece of parchment, "I can't finish mine own playeth, 'For never was a story of more woe, o bard-' '' "ALEXA PLAY US DESPACITO!" Ramone yelled, "WOOOOOOO! I JUST MET SHAKESPEARE BITCHES!"

"RAMONE YOU DUMB MOTHER-", and just as quick as they had appeared, they disappeared into a faint blue dust

"Alas! those hags disapear'd!" A person spoke up from the crowd, "Play us despacito...." Shakespeare shrugged, "I liketh 't..."

✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ

On came the darkness and the breathlessness, and Lucas opened his eyes. It didn't look like they were in medieval times anymore. In fact, they were standing in the middle of a highly urbanised town. Skyscrapers lined each corner and news and the current affairs blared on jumbotrons.

"Where are we now?" Sienna asked curiously,

"No clue." Lucas replied looking around and seeing a pamphlet on the floor. He picked it up and looked at it , "I think we're in 2020." He said,

"Really...I thought there were gonna be flying cars and stuff a lot more people," Ramone said looking around. The streets were empty....it was almost eerie.

"There's this thing, called Kovid-20, apparently its a disease!" Lucas said and looked around,

"Oh snap that's a twist," Sienna said and laughed, "But uhh, is my watch supposed to be smoking?"

"What smoke..." Lucas said walking over to her. Ramone flipped around and looked at the watch too as it started beeping,

"Uh-oh-"

Whoosh, 

and they got sucked into a vortex of darkness again.

✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧✧:･ﾟ

Lucas embraced the darkness and the breathlessness this time. He had grown accustomed to it now. He patiently waited for the ground him to feel the ground under his feet but that never happened.

Splat

He faceplanted onto the ground, "OW OW OW!" He yelled and opened his eyes. he came to his senses and was greeted by an overwhelming stench of manure, "Ew, when are we?" he got up a little light on his feet, "Okay everyone you guys might feel a little discombobulated, We're travelled over 3 or 4 times in a row now,"

"What the fuck does discumsbsdbd mean?" Ramone groaned a stack of hay had broken his fall. "It's a fancy word for dizzy." Sienna slowly got up using a rake as support.

Lucas looked around and saw more hay and other farming supplies around them. He spotted a pile of manure which explained the manure-y smell.

Suddenly the barn door slid open and a man stood there holding a frying pan, "I'VE HAD IT WITH YA BOGUES-BONK!" 

Sienna slammed the rake on his head making him fall sideways on the floor unconscious, "Ha suck it-" She started retching and threw up on the floor.

"Oh god seeing sick people makes me feel sick," Ramone said and turned away.
Sienna stood back up, "Yeah, I feel a little discombobcat....That didn't right," It was evident that she was having trouble standing upright even. Lucas walked over to her and helped her sit down on a stack of hay, and then walked up to the now unconscious man.

He was round and plump. He was about 5 feet tall and had an enormous belly. He wore a locket on his nec-.... Not really a neck...the pocket of fat under his chin. He also had a handlebar moustache with little bits of fried chicken clinging onto it.

After a few minutes when everyone was back on their feet, They had to figure out a way to hide the man's body.

"Whose gonna lift it?" Ramone asked, 

"I dunno...." Sienna said and looked at Lucas, who had put on a brave face, "We all shall...Together."

Fifteen minutes later

"BOOST HIS BOTTOM!" Lucas yelled tugging the man's arm to haul him on a wheelbarrow, 

"I'M BOOSTING HIS BOTTOM!" Sienna yelled,

"BOOST...HISSSS..BOTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!"

Another fifteen minutes later...

"This is funny..." Ramone giggled while sitting on a stack of hay,

Lucas and Sienna looked at each other, "I touched that guy's ass...We're taking to our grave." and both of them nodded in agreement.