Unspoken Words

Meeting Him

I was ten when I saw him for the first time
It was my first day of school
I remember thinking that his eyes looked like the stars I saw every night.
I remember wanting to talk to him,
Wanting to say "Hi"
I turned away,
A few days later, he no longer occupied my mind.

Fast forward two years,
He's just a background figure in my life
Just someone else in the crowd of strangers
Sometimes crossing paths and whispering "Hello"

When I was thirteen, he entered my life again
We were assigned seats next to each other
We bonded over embarrassment of our middle names
He thought his was to girlish
I thought mine was to cultural
We both promised not to reveal it to anyone else
It was our secret

Our friendship lasted a meager three months
We went on holiday and forgot each other
When the new term resumed, we were strangers again
He never once entered my mind

Our next meeting was a whole year later
We were both fourteen
We always stayed late in school
He came up to me and asked"What are you doing so late?"
I looked up into his eyes and I remembered again how I had once likened them to stars
I wanted to talk to him normally,
I wished I didn't fidget
I wished I could get rid of what I know know to be teenage hormones
Instead, I remained quiet

In a bid to save the conversation,
We turned towards dangerous waters
He asked dangerous questions, questions I should have answered honestly
But I didn't want him to think I was innocent, naive
So, I fabricated stories and made myself into some wild, captivating person

And that was how it all began