the first and last chapter.

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every fuckin second of the day i have this black dark ball in me. its in my heart and its growing. i can feel it. it physically hurts like a hand is holding my heart and is squeezing all the life out of it. slowly and painfully.

went from 1 to 0 friends. no one to hold me while i take my least breath.

can't remember the last time i felt happiness. my brain is deleting all those memories; all the reasons to live.

purpose. what's mine? nothing.

therapy and pills ain't working. depression is stronger. invincible. taking more and more each day. hoping that i will sleep. and stay sleeping. never wake up.

everyday gets harder and harder to get up and face the future.
everyday i find less and less reasons to stay here. today im really struggling to find any.

thinking about the future that this planet has for me. no. i don't belong here and i certainly don't want to stay here and let that future get to me.

what's the purpose of life? nothing. killing our planet, animals and people.

living for others. for a year now. would be long gone if it wasn't for family. enough death. enough pain.



let this be a reminder that depression is out here. that this story of a girl who lost her battle is one of many others.


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⏰ Last updated: Feb 06, 2021 ⏰

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